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day three-hundred-and-four. mildly inspired.

mostly by attempting to define/discover our human responsibilities.

they've been pulling at me more than ever.

and i'm always so hesitant.

my heart says go, my consciousness says no.

then my subconscious says go, again.

once it's over i'm left regretting my actions..or lack thereof.

why do we always feel as if someone else should take the slack?

or we feel inadequate in doing so.

from now on, i'm not waiting anymore.

i'm doing what i feel is right, when i feel it is right to do so.

if i get hurt in the process so be it, because nothing is more gratifying than helping someone instead of leaving them staggering in your peripheral vision.

it's not right.


i can't get that girl out of my head.

i should've helped her.

i'm so torn and bruised inside.

this is excruciating.

....why didn't i help? or even ask?

and why did all of us just stand there and mumble amongst each other

when we knew something was not right.


time for deep breaths.

this is going to be a hard night.


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Taken on January 1, 1980