Since I've been around for a while, and I've learned a thing or three about life, let me begin by revealing some profound truths.
Step one: Push away everything. Brush it all away. Get rid of desire. Get rid of self. Get rid of the petty complications, the worries, the troubles. Get rid of the good things and the bad things. What's left? What's left is a mass of tattered green ribbons of light, swirling chaotically. A turbulent mass, churning in upon itself endlessly. There is no peace. The Buddha's fourfold negation be fucked, there is NO peace. There's just a rude insult to the rational mind. There's a massive force of chaos and absurdity, mocking us, torturing us, tossing us back up into a painful and futile awareness, only to draw us back down again into the central void of death... but there's a truth, there's a concrete reality, there's an undeniable fact... there's that brief span of time where everything is. That's where my life is. That's where my dreams are. That's where my torturers live, and my desire to find love, peace, contentment... security? In the violent upward arc before I'm sure to plunge down, I think I'll find security? Madness, all of it. But I have no choice.
That's where I'll be for ten more seconds, or fifty more years, or something in between.
And somehow, there's always a woman. Someone to offer me more chaos, uncertaintly, someone to make my pain more real. Someone to strip me down, make me vulnerable and desperate. Someone to light up that passion and desire within me, that makes me think "I can be a hero." Someone to mock me and betray me, and make me spend more money than I can possibly earn. Someone to chat with over a cup of green tea... but not coffee, I don't drink coffee.