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How my iPhone almost killed me

Or, how to kill yourself with an iPhone.


Step 1. Purchase an iPhone. I'd recommend the more valuable one as that will make you more willing to risk life for it.


Step 2. Gain access to a treadmill.


Step 3. Use said iPhone while using treadmill.


Step 4. When your iPhone magically slides off the stand, hits the treadmill and rockets off behind you, make SURE to follow it's trajectory with your head, not just your eyes.


Step 5. If you've completed step 4 correctly you should now be facing sideways on the treadmill instead of forward. Your head should also be cranked completely around behind you. The position of your body will lead to you being completely off balance. Let the treadmill do the rest.


Step 6. Your feet should fly out from under you and if your head is still facing backwards you should land flat on your back on the treadmill. It will then proceed to rocket you backwards.


Step 7. This is of UTMOST importance. You will only stay airborne for a quick second and when you come down, the back of the treadmill will strike somewhere on your body. Make SURE it hits you DIRECTLY in the spine.


Step 8. You should now have a broken spine. If not, repeat. Or, you might just end up blogging about how you ended up with a wicked pressure burst on your back.


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Uploaded on August 8, 2007