Chest of Unfathomable Treasures
I have no idea what this old chest once contained, or was meant to contain. Gold maybe? Or perhaps something more valuable, such as the secret to happiness or pornographic magazines. It could also be that gold and porn, contrary to popular belief, is the secret to happiness. Thus, I have made up my mind. This chest once contained (or was meant to contain) gold and porn, hence making its owner a really happy fellow. If you don't agree, you're just being cynical. Or worse: a prude.