The less time I spent with other women, the less I had to feel like not much of one.
I was uncomfortable in and around myself. Hating myself for not being as graceful as they were or as mysterious or feminine.
I was bitter - hopelessly.
I used to trick myself and everyone else - I threw pride around like it was something I deserved. Proud of being a woman as if I had done it on my own.
It all felt wrong to me, until I realized that if I didn't abuse pride, it wouldn't abuse me.
Becoming friends with other women because I got along with them (as oppossed to befriending them for my own secret research like I had always done before) completely turned my brain inside out and before long, I realized that I was a woman too.
I could be graceful and mysterious and all of that. It wasn't an experiment anymore. It was a celebration.
The woman attached to legs you see above came into my life sometime around the end of my "breaking out of my shell" party.
She was the icing on top and I'm proud to be her friend.