real people

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real people

i have a fondness for those people who inhabit the metaphorical 'outskirts'.

those individuals living on the peripheries.

the different.

the individualistic.

the eccentric.

this is not to say i would necessarily consider myself a member of those particular sections [sic] of society that the lumpen majority seem to [irrationally] fear or [ignorantly] pour hatred upon [oft times both go hand in hand].

one important thing that has struck me since adulthood is the marked difference between these minorities and the majority.

those people who inhabit the peripheries seem altogether more real than almost all people i meet and would consider part of the majority [subjective of course].

the people in the minorities [this used in a non-racial sense] seem far truer to themselves, more open and almost always much more genuine.

i see the majority of people belonging to the 'majority' or 'mainstream' [once again subjective] as being nothing more than actors.

this is particularly true when i have the chance to see them in a social gathering or communal setting.

the majority of the majority are never quite what they seem.

they are, more often than not, acting in a way that they assume their peers wish them to act.

not acting as they wish to act themselves.

i happen to know one person who lives an entirely bisected 'double' life.

one side [its behaviour deemed 'wrong' by the majority] exists in absolute isolation with regard to their other 'real' life. a real life which is a sham. an act.

this contradictory state can often lead to severe cognitive dissonance.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

as wikipedia explains, cognitive dissonance appears when an individual is aware [sometimes subconciously] that they are holding two opposing positions, or contradictory ideas.

this may result in an individual behaving in an excessive way to offset the dissonance.

if a man is homosexual, yet has not 'come out', and lives amongst heterosexual peers, he may behave in an excessively masculine way to offset his personal feelings of dissonance.

such behavior as this is displayed by a fine example of cognotive dissonance, the sublimely hypocritical Ted Haggard:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard

"we don't have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity. It’s written in the bible."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6rSjrBhUIA

dear old ted!

the person i know who leads a double life lives in this manner due to fear.

fear of the horrified reaction of peers should the actual truth be offered.

as always, these reactions would be based on ignorance, fear and stupidity.

such is the nature of herds.

and thus to the idea that those living [to a greater or lesser extent] 'outside' the herd can behave in a manner that is truer to themselves. they act, think and believe as they see fit.

not as their peers wish them to.

this is why i hold them in such high esteem.

flickr has afforded me some wonderful gifts.

one of these gifts has been the opportunity to become acquainted with some of the very people i describe above:

the marginalised.

the outsider.

the different.

those who suffer persecution.

those who suffer bigotry.

those who suffer hatred.

from the majority.

my respect for these people is profound.

i find their strength and fortitude wonderful and life affirming.

and they are true.

to themselves.

and as such.

they are real.

real people.

big love to the outsiders, wherever they may be.

end of transmission.

"to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ralph waldo emerson

the wonderful quote above was purloined from my very real flickr contact shannon jax:

www.flickr.com/photos/butterflybird/

hit her stream and go look at what a real person does :)

the|G|™

View 4 more comments

  1. 10v10 60 months ago | reply

    i've seen and heard this quote many times lately:

    "STOP TRYING TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT."

    in other words:

    BE REAL.

  2. A Dharma Bum 60 months ago | reply

    when i saw this ralph waldo emerson quote at shannon's wonderful stream it immediately made me realize how grateful i am to have met those real people here. and as i said to her, she is definitely a real people. like others here.
    so does you G darling. the real deal.

  3. A Dharma Bum 60 months ago | reply

    Hi, I'm an admin for a group called restless souls - firework minds , and we'd love to have this added to the group!

  4. A Dharma Bum 60 months ago | reply

    Hi, I'm an admin for a group called i'll start the revolution when i finish my coffee, and we'd love to have this added to the group!

  5. VKMUSTBEDESTROYED 60 months ago | reply

    I dig your words my friend.

  6. +gAbY+ 60 months ago | reply

    I, too, have a fascination for the outsiders, as you call them. May be because they are so different to what I am. But I dont really agree with "the people in the minorities [...] seem far truer to themselves, more open and almost always much more genuine". I wouldnt say the guy that goes to the bank every day to stamp deposits, with his tie and a $100 suit, and then returns home to have a beer, play with his kids and cook dinner with the wife is less real than the tortured romantic soul that you are portraying.

  7. leonardo italiano 60 months ago | reply

    as always you hit it on the nail paul.i feel like an outsider myself. i can't be something that i'm not and i don't behave as i should so my peers can esteem me.i'm sick and tired of all the hypocrisy in certain groups and i've never been one to follow a particular group.you know where i stand as far as my beleafs are concerned and they are my biggest critics. if i lived my life to please them it would be meaningless.all i want out of this life is just to be myself and all i get is BS.

  8. Julian Holtom 60 months ago | reply

    I agree, everyone's just getting from a>b armed with the tools they been given, by their learning experiences and a multitude of any other social factors that help form their world view along with other ongoing factors and influences.

    Square pegs, round holes. I don't fit argument. Maybe not. It's all about tribalism ultimately, these aren't "outsiders", they're a different tribe to the one they find themselves in. Does it therefore make them anymore special continuing to be true to themselves rather than be subsumed by the dominant group? They just want to belong to a tribe of like minded individuals, socially and mentally. To feel safe, understood, as does everyone else, be that the dominant culture or not. It's hard wired tribalism at play.

    Is it easier to be part of a dominant culture than express one's true self? Of course. The fact there is a dominant culture, is this somehow wrong? No, these mechanisms exist for a reason at an "Ug Ug" club swinging level, which no amount of education, slogan t-shirted or good cause wrist band wearing will ever truly pull you away from.

    Relativism & perspective are two words that need to take a good long look at each other here too. Often one is mentioned without the other to show a true understanding of acceptance of all views involved.

    Personally, I take people as I find them, whatever their colour, creed, sexuality, dress sense, politics, religion and even music tastes (excepting c&w, there's just no excuse).

    A twat is a twat* "outsider" or not.

    "Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people!*

    *You can see why I'm not a social worker

  9. *SARCASTICALIOUS* 60 months ago | reply

    As me dear old Dad used to say,
    "Fuck the Begrudgers"
    to thine own self be true

  10. theG™ 60 months ago | reply

    @ jules:

    Is it easier to be part of a dominant culture than express one's true self? Of course. The fact there is a dominant culture, is this somehow wrong? No, these mechanisms exist for a reason at an "Ug Ug" club swinging level, which no amount of education, slogan t-shirted or good cause wrist band wearing will ever truly pull you away from.

    the reason these patterns exist is to inculcate the herd think that is necessary to produce more like minded beasts for the herd.

    this in itself should be seen as mildly unappealing.

    Personally, I take people as I find them, whatever their colour, creed, sexuality, dress sense, politics, religion and even music tastes (excepting c&w, there's just no excuse).

    an entirely agreeable way to behave.

    however, as you no doubt realise, that behaviour pattern is pure anathema to the majority. that is exactly why we have pogroms, bigotry and hate crime.

    i too take people as i find them.

    which results in my initial text.

    @ gaab - i accept you may be correct in your assertion with respect to the behavoir of people within a family unit.

    i speak of the behaviour of people acting in congress or as groups.

    people in a social sense.

    as a herd.


    I wouldnt say the guy that goes to the bank every day to stamp deposits, with his tie and a $100 suit, and then returns home to have a beer, play with his kids and cook dinner with the wife is less real than the tortured romantic soul that you are portraying.

    less real in what sense?

    in my opinion, the man you describe is far more likely to be a homophobe or a xenophobe, simply because this is the way his square peg peers behave.

    and when each individual tries to outdo the other, we end in the lunacy of a 'final solution'.

    square pegs fuck up round planets.

    the|G|™
    the|G|™ stream

  11. giggie larue 60 months ago | reply

    i agree with everyone above. seriously.

    for me it's all about abiding in paradox - i believe everyone is an outsider in some way(s)/arenas, by some means, while at the same time being an insider in others.

    at that, when it comes to who i want to engage in any way self-defined as "intimate" to me? i do tend to assess people pretty quickly as "the real thang" or not, and choose how much of what to cross paths with regarding those individuals (or groups).

    this assessment is based on ... what exactly?

    I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of [people] I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description ["real"]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know [them] when I see [them], and the [person] involved in this case is not that.

    (~ by way of justice potter stewart re: what is pornographic)

    at least i like to *think* i see what is real within them or not - not necessarily that they themselves in totality are real or phony.

    (then of course, in spite of my best efforts, i have sometimes been wrong! and there within have been some painful and valuable lessons ;)

  12. brancusi7 60 months ago | reply

    I suspect you're writing from pain, which can tend to promote overly pessimistic extrapolations from people who would normally be thicker skinned. I genuinely believe that the negative people are a very active, very vocal minority who succeed in greatly exaggerating their own importance in the world. Pessimism isn't realism, it's depression, as I know from bitter experience.

  13. Julian Holtom 60 months ago | reply

    I concur wholeheartedly. I still regret the amount of reading I did to justify my world view and my consequent right to feel as I did, rather than have the strength of will to deal with my problems first hand. Not to mention any other number of displacement behaviours to avoid looking in the mirror and accepting that I needed to change.

    EDIT - Strength of will, a bit misleading. I mean to say. If I could have redirected ALL of the energy I was wasting in finding ways to justify my behaviours into facing my problems, then likely my problems and the subsequent self imposed security blanket of misery would have been put to bed a whole lot sooner.

  14. +gAbY+ 60 months ago | reply

    I really dont know what to say.
    what you see, experience and live is as valid as what I do. no absolute truth here. Although I believe generalizations are as dangerous as phobias.
    May be it touches me because I am "mainstream", thus, Im part of the herd you hate. Although I dont try to outdo anyone and Im an awful actress.

  15. theG™ 60 months ago | reply

    @ brancusi:

    i suspect you're writing from pain

    no.

    i am writing from my truth.

    I genuinely believe that the negative people are a very active, very vocal minority who succeed in greatly exaggerating their own importance in the world. Pessimism isn't realism, it's depression, as I know from bitter experience.

    i agree entirely.

    though your assertion leads me to believe that a concerted effort is needed to stop these 'dominant' fuckwits ruling our lives.

    and you are clever enough to know they do.

    as my late father used to opine:

    politicians should be the very best of people, but the job remit only attracts the very worst of people.

    the paraphrase is found in yeats:

    The best lack all conviction, while the worst. Are full of passionate intensity

    @ gaab - i like you.

    and your work.

    the|G|™

  16. Ana.Caldas 60 months ago | reply

    I love real people!

  17. MercyNicole. 60 months ago | reply

    real people are rare

  18. A Dharma Bum 25 months ago | reply

    hahahahahaha talking about real peope ↑

  19. theG™ 25 months ago | reply

    :

    bahahahahahaha :D

    i <3 IRONY :)

    the|G|™
    stream

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