The sun was so hot, the waterdrops so perfect, this leaf actually started to smoke. I stood there, amazed, jaw darn near hitting the floor, and then I said to the leaf, I says, "You shouldn't smoke, leaf. It's bad for your lungs."
And the leaf retorts, "But I have no lungs, stupid human."
And I was all like, "Well, it's bad for your... photo... uh... synthetic cells."
And the leaf just laughed, and blew a plume of smoke in my face, then kicked me in the shin.