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dear color,


i know that i've been away for a long, long time. although my heart belongs to black and white, i have missed you. did you miss me?


i promise that i will visit you every once in awhile. we can hang out and reminisce about old times.


your friend,


,,,consume me.


thank you all for the dialogue yesterday about i love you. i really enjoyed the thoughtful discussion.

This is an outtake from my Dirt Mover shot.


I loved that there was a whole conversation about background versus no background. It was such an awesome interaction on my photostream - probably my favorite so far! Thank you to everyone who commented and shared their opinion.


Brooke Shaden was so kind to take the time to give me a tutorial on how I could remove the background, complete with an example to work from. I took her tips and applied them to this outtake. I love the other-worldly feel of this version. I think the photo is so much more dramatic this way!


Thank you Brooke!!

death comes to that part

the part i can no longer endure


i starved it

i made it waste away



its hold released


so i could

be born.

nothing soothes me like getting outside into the beauty of nature.


i wanted to dedicate this shot (taken on 12/19) to brooke. it was her one year anniversary on flickr on the 19th. brooke, you are an inspiration. you've accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. i feel very fortunate to call you a friend. i can't wait to see what the next year holds for you.

I had to climb over the railing of a bridge to get this shot. This was not easy in a skirt. Luckily no one was around, so I didn't have to worry about being too immodest!


Submitted this to Self-Portrait Confessions and here's my confession:

I am not perfect. I mess up. I make mistakes. I overreact. I say stupid shit. You know. That's life and humanity.







..2 days left


i'm sorry i am not saying much lately. i'm deep within myself these days - thinking about the past year, absorbing everything that it has meant to me...

Wow...between yesterday and today, I think I will need to do something to lighten the mood around here!


Again, just a photo. I am fine. I don't feel washed up and I am perfectly happy. This is just what I came up with at the lake today at 5 in the morning!


Is the blurry hand too distracting?


View On Black

I was so happy to come home and have these 20 minutes to shoot in this yummy, delicious, wonderful, glorious light!


It melted away all the stress of my day.


For this week's personal mini theme: Hide My Face.


And for TOTW: A Textured Life (I think this qualifies.)

Wow! Photo number one hundred and fifty! I kinda wish I had realized that this morning so I could have maybe done something special.


This is just me being weird, playing around with movement. I'm thought I would try not looking so posed all of the time. I've been playing with processing too.


I guess I just figure that the more stuff I try, the more I will start to understand what my personal aesthetic is. Right now, I am all over the place. Don't get me wrong, I think that its good to be all over the place, especially in the early stages of exploring one's creativity.


View On Black

And now, for your regularly scheduled Emily Dickinson:


A bird came down the walk:

He did not know I saw;

He bit an angle-worm in halves

And ate the fellow, raw.


And then he drank a dew

From a convenient grass,

And then hopped sidewise to the wall

To let a beetle pass.


He glanced with rapid eyes

That hurried all abroad,--

They looked like frightened beads, I thought;

He stirred his velvet head


Like one in danger; cautious,

I offered him a crumb,

And he unrolled his feathers

And rowed him softer home


Than oars divide the ocean,

Too silver for a seam,

Or butterflies, off banks of noon,

Leap, splashless, as they swim.


View On Black

oh, hi. would you like to take my picture?


........8 days to go

Even though it is Wednesday, I can't be wordless on this photo because I need to use this space to say thanks to my dear friends who encouraged me to push beyond my creative block yesterday and take a photo. I was so ready to quit this project. Sometimes, all you need is a little nudge from the people you trust to find a way to keep trying.


You all know who you are, but special thanks to Brooke, who especially inspired this shot.


I'll be back with something Wordless later today...

i was messing around with my TTV setup yesterday and liked how this came out with the metal pieces from the Kodak Duaflex showing in the frame.


so, kinda an accidental shot, but it works for me!!


looks cool this way

Just chillin'. And, just realized that this fits for The Rogue Players: Lazy Photography.


I've stayed mostly unplugged this weekend. I've logged in long enough to upload my photos each day. It's been a nice break. I'll be catching up on streams later today and this week. Can't wait to see what everyone has been up to!

Driving in the car this morning and this song came on - Black and White by Sarah McLaughlin. I have heard this song a zillion times, but today I really heard the lyrics and I immediately wanted to do this photo. Hopefully not too cheezy or anything...


Unravel me

a distant cord

on the outside is forgotten

a constant need


To get along

and the animal awakens

and all I feel is black and white


The road is long

the memory slides

to the whole of my undoing

put aside

I put away

I push it back to get through each day

and all I feel is black and white

and I'm wound up small and tight

and I don't know who I am


Everybody loves you when you're easy

everybody hates when you're a bore

everyone is waiting for your entrance so

don't disappoint them


Unravel me

untie this chord

the very center of our union

is caving in

I can't endure

I am the archive of our failure


And all I feel is black and white

and I'm wound up small and tight

and I don't know who I am


Everybody loves you when you're easy

everybody hates when you're a bore

everyone is waiting for your entrance so

don't disappoint them


Everybody loves you when you're easy so

don't disappoint them


Don't disappoint them...


I had something different planned for today, but it didn't work out. As plan b, I lit a candles in a bunch of mason jars that I have lying around. I continue to enjoy playing with how to get the right exposure in dim/dark settings. Playing with light these past few days has been fun and challenging.


View On Black

i'm not super happy with this, but its what i've got for sunday, 12/20.


we're in the final stretch of my 365, so I am going to start shooting and posting on the same day. i want 12/31 to officially be the end. there are only 11 photographs to go and i want these last days to be a countdown. each day, i'm going to try to share some of what i've learned through this process.

i'm not feeling very wordy in the description department lately.

i have no lid upon my head

but if i did

you could look inside and

see what's on my mind

~from the song "let you down" by dave matthews band


i went on a little shopping trip yesterday evening before meeting a good friend for dinner. i got this hat, a shirt and a dress. i'm going through a phase that i go through from time to time. its the one where i get tired of my uniform of jeans and a shirt or sweater and beat up shoes and i decide i'm going to try and dress like i actually care.


see. i don't dress stylishly because i'm generally afraid that it will make people notice me. and i typically don't want to be noticed. sounds kinda odd coming from someone who posts a self-portrait everyday, but its true.


there. a little peek inside the head of ladybugrock.


but, what do you think of my hat. totally cute, right?

I just wanted to post this photo as a thank you to Brooke who wrote me my first testimonial a couple weeks back. It was a complete thrill to get a testimonial, especially from someone I admire as much as Brooke.


The spirit

likes to dress up like this:

ten fingers,

ten toes,


shoulders, and all the rest

at night

in the black branches,

in the morning


in the blue branches

of the world.

It could float, of course,

but would rather


plumb rough matter.

Airy and shapeless thing,

it needs

the metaphor of the body,


lime and appetite,

the oceanic fluids;

it needs the body's world,



and imagination

and the dark hug of time,


and tangibility,


to be understood,

to be more than pure light

that burns

where no one is --


so it enters us --

in the morning

shines from brute comfort

like a stitch of lightning;


and at night

lights up the deep and wondrous

drownings of the body

like a star.


by Mary Oliver

Poem (The spirit likes to play dress up)

Sorting through my photos, I came across this outtake from my barn shoot last week. Suddenly, I was in the mood to post from the archives!

...and so she was hung by the chimney with care

its lost

or i never had it


Yah, not much to say about this one. I'm tired - physically and emotionally. I couldn't really be bothered for a fancy shot today. This is the nature of the 365. I wish that every photo I created could tell a story. But, that's not always possible. Unless, of course, you count my sleepiness and need for a cut and color to be a story!


this is temporarily untitled. i have some ideas, but i'm still mulling it over.


when i started this week, i didn't really plan for it to be a black and white, ttv, bedroom and bathroom extravaganza, but that is how it has unfolded for me. this series has been great for me so far. i'm excited by it and a little drained by the emotional side of it. it could end today or next week or never.


i think i will continue it for as long as it feels like honest expression for me.

three cameras were involved in the making of this picture:


1. polaroid 600

2. kodak duaflex (for the ttv)

3. nikon d300


that was kinda fun! maybe someday i can try a picture that involves all my cameras...

Couldn't go to the barn and get all dressed up without doing a jumping shot. Trying to decide between this and my 365 scarecrow shot as my submission for the Final Four in the Flickr 64 Challenge.


Hrm...decisions, decisions!


** Update ** I did submit this one to the Flickr 64 Challenge where I am up against the talented KeriIvy. Check out here stream, if you haven't before!


Why won't you talk to me? --------- I feel like I'm drowning.


~Pink Floyd, Keep Talking from The Division Bell


The Division Bell was Pink Floyd's final studio album and was the second album recorded after the band's estrangement from Roger Waters. It was released in 1994. The release was accompanied by a successful tour which and documented in the PULSE album which was released in '95.


The album was named by a close friend of David Gilmour, Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). In exchange, Gilmour had to donate $25,000 to the Save The Rhino Foundation!


The 'theme' of the album, as heard through songs like Keep Talking is communication and the dangers of allowing oneself to become too isolated.


On a personal note, I saw Pink Floyd in Vancouver on this tour. Seriously one of the highlights of my life. I still get chills thinking about it!


Black or White? I can't decide...

everyone has some...


Revisiting my Pink Floyd lyrics today.


There's a song on The Wall called Is There Anybody Out There? That's the extent of the song. Two minutes and forty seconds. The first half of the song is a distress call. The second half is all instrumental.


In the overall plot of the album, Pink is calling for anyone who might be on the other side of the wall he has built. Since he repeats these words 4 times, we can only assume that no one answers...


For those of you who are interested - this is a TtV shot through a Kodak Duaflex. I am also standing inside my shower and shooting through the shower door for a little extra distortion/grime.


View On Black


Or, if you really want to get close: Large and on black

My great niece Izzy.

This is Rita. She's appeared in my stream once before. She's the sweetest kitty. One hundred percent my cat. I just love her.


Tuesday's Truth: Last week, my husband told me that he comes to Flickr to find out how I am feeling. How sad is that? I have a pretty nice wall built up around myself. I used to think that Shawn was the only person on the inside of it, but apparently, that's not quite the case. I need to open up more - not just with Shawn, but with my friends who care about me too. I wonder why its so easy to be open in a photo description and not so much with the people we love more than life?


Tomorrow is Wednesday, which means it's wordless!


big, black


For MSH - Pillow Talk

protection and yet so fragile...


bigger, please

another three cameras shot. this time, i wanted to switch up the scene and the perspective a bit. it took some rigging to get the ttv setup for this and i was afraid the entire time that it was going to fall in the toilet!


although this concept is something that's been in my head for a while, i wasn't sure if i would post this. mostly because i'm afraid people won't like it because its not "cute". but, i am trying to get past that fear. i keep talking about pushing through, finding new territory to explore.

this is to resistance what this is to resignation.


...3 days left

after a lifetime of hard work, these hands are enjoying a well deserved rest

Ruth (Cheiko) full of wiry energy, at the "porte de retour" on the coast of Benin - an historic site renovated from what was once the departure point for slave ships across the Atlantic. Reworked from a photo taken some years back. A windy day.


Canon PowerShot S45 camera


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another shot taken with 3 cameras - my polaroid, my kodak duaflex and my d300.


these are fun for me.

ugh! i had a user error malfunction on the beta version of Lightroom 3 and it actually deleted the original upload of this photo.


this after the shot had made front page and everything!


i lost all your comments - which were so wonderful! i'm sorry! i'm seriously sad. :-(

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