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9" x 12"



My thanks to TT_Mac ( for inspiring this painting!!!! THANK YOU TT! Please stop by to see some incredible photographs from TT!


It's been a roller coaster of a holiday for us. We've had some incredibly joyful times with our grands and visits with family.


But my mom has been ill. Just before Christmas she had a fall, fracturing her hip and requiring a partial hip replacement. She was doing quite well in rehab, but then fell ill with an infection. Just before Christmas Day, her infection worsened and she was rushed to the hospital. For a few days, we weren't quite sure if she would recover.


As of last night, she seems to be making a bit of progress - though it's slow going. I'm heading out of town to visit her for several days and will be MIA.


Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers on my mom's behalf. At 88 years old, these set backs take a long time to work through.


Hope your holidays were joyous ...


Stay well!

9" x 12"

Arches 140# CP




May you be filled with peace and blessings!!!


We are sharing this day with our grandchildren - and thus have returned to the wonder of children and the delight of the holiday.


We pray for those who are ill, sad, depressed, lonely....that the holiday season may fill them as well with hope and with love.



a hospital in Las Palmas.

I saw a photo of it in flickr and wanted to take a photo myself too. On my way to Las Palmas I saw this hospital in passing and some days later I wanted to walk to the building, but it seemed that the way was longer and longer away and my feet burned. But happily I arrived and found a good position for a photo.

Due to a long illness this is my first landscape shot in more than one and a half years. Last week I went out on adventure! It was so exciting, the bus for disabled people took me to Kinderdijk with my mobility scooter, camera, tripod and all and dropped me off Café de Klok close to the windmills. It was freezing cold outside with temperatures of 6 degrees below zero. Unfortunely the "Golden hour" was over before I knew it, so I had very little time to scout for the best compositions. The "blue hour" lasted longer, but once the sun was down the temperature dropped another 6 degrees (or so it felt to me charging up and down between the windmills on my scootmobile!) What a wonderful feeling of freedom I felt! More shots to follow

"Depersonalization disorder occurs when you persistently or repeatedly have a sense that things around you aren't real, or when you have the feeling that you're observing yourself from outside your body. Feelings of depersonalization can be very disturbing and may feel like you're losing your grip on reality or living in a dream." -- Mayo Clinic

So because of illness and a hurt knee, I am behind on the Dogwood Challenge. We went over to the indoor Go Kart track and let the grand kids have at it while I tried my hand at panning.


The way it is designed, there are steel pillars all around the track, with score boards, a bridge, signs, and just a million things to get in the way.

He knows how to take care of me

and get me away from the darkness.



Thanks for this song :$

My Face My Art has developed into an on going series of art created by a person living with what is commonly called an invisible illness.


The invisible illness becomes visible. It's as clear as the art on my face.


Art shown around me is "The Heroine" and "Crawl 1"


SUNDRIP - Art for Life

le souci de la flamme

soudain en articulation



contre l’expérience

d’une voix

la nature du silence


où se noie

le reflux des reflets

l’eau des songes


aussi l’écume de la trace

des mains qui chantent

le dernier serment avant

l’hallucination sidérale

résignée par les rivages

rocheux oniriques prêt

à aimer



la délivrance des oiseaux




une étoile

que l’on mérite comme l’ultime


poids d’éclat

point écarté


avant le cri qui déchire

la blancheur des pylônes

les branches qui flottent

tels des vertèbres


le soupir des naufragés

pendant que la mer essaye

d’énoncer toutes ces volontés

internes qui dansent l’antériorité

chevauchent le miracle qui s’efface

avant l’instant véridique



masse d’attente

souffle du vide


mer et volonté

sans exténuation


se meurent.



Par lesquels les os s'unissent les uns aux autres


I spent my whole life making bricks for people to construct their sweet homes with, yet at this age and time, i still don't have a house of my own. Day after day, the sun has witnessed me working tirelessly, through health and illness, through stormy winters and hot summers, yet i have no complaints and regrets. i am just happy i made a significant difference in someone's life, be it by contribution of a brick made by my own hands. Chacha Ghafaoor Din, Brick Kilns Khushab Pakistan

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Inspired by Instrumental Illness who knows about beauty from ashes.

and all of the unseen treasures that can only be found in the dark.

He is better than an artist.


**There was once a little prince with a magic crown. An evil warlock kidnapped him, locked him in a cell in a high tower and took away his voice. There was a window with bars, and the prince kept smashing his head against the bars hoping that someone would hear the sound - and find him. The crown made the most beautiful sound that anyone had ever heard. You could hear it ringing for miles. It was so beautiful that people wanted to grab the air. They never found the prince. He never got out of the cell. But the sound he made filled everything up with beauty.


See me bigger on Black

A grave illness pervades our Nations' youth

Caused by boredom, anger and frustration

Or perhaps because they're fed untruths

They lash out fiercely with determination ....!!!!

See more pics

"Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. It can lead to depression, illness, even suicide. Although it may often hit the old, sick or handicapped people, it is very common among young people too."


Be smarter and understand Life has given you a time to find yourself on your way.

If you give up and sleep and cry and do nothing, you don't help yourself.

To get back on line, the first thing what you should understand is, you are with yourself. listen inner voice. listen your heart and follow it. the heart will take you to so many amazing adventures.

And you will not even close your eye when you see you have found everything what's important to you in your life. for some its family life, for some career.


Just few more days and then I'm into the next decade.....

And I'm still SO young, but have been gone through so many things what usually happens with people in their 40-50 years of life. Since July 2008 I yell loud that I love life no matter what. Sometimes have to understand that we need to go our own ways. Its hard, I felt hurt. but life goes further and i still live and smile.


About the smile.

I actually smile A LOT. Only in photos NO :)

Why people in Latvia looks on me all the time? BECAUSE NO ONE SMILES THERE and when they see someone like me who has silly happy smile on face, they are curious - why i smile?! Because I LOVE life.


This photo gave me an idea to finally do this shot.

chris and i were working for al at a typesetting/photo shop when he became ill, and eventually died. it's a bizarre recollection because of one incident. another co-worker took me to see al in the hospital during the final stage of his illness. we stood over him and talked to him for a good five minutes before we realized we had the wrong room.

Be it the health and life insurance policies or even the commercial insurance to safeguard the business, Legacy Partners Insurance and Financial Service has everything to serve. They have already sold millions of dollars of insurance and other financial products with due honesty and integrity in service. For More Information, Visit

When the door opened, I saw her angel's face. She had wide eyes, a mouth like a gleaming cherry in a face as pale as milk. We spent a joyful evening together. She was funny, intelligent, breathtakingly beautiful in her black short dress. We had a first night of love. Then we made love nonstop day and night for two weeks. I discovered the journey to paradise. She had inhabited my body, I felt her skin on my skin every moment. She conquered my spirit, took possession of me, I surrendered. She became pregnant a few weeks later. I knew it was a boy. He's thirty now. At the time, I might have suspected that there was something wrong. You know, these piddling incidents, which end in tears without one understand why. Two years later my life had become hell. I had known her in a period of splendor, and then I saw her fall, and pulled me and my son down with her. Two beings lived in her, and consumed her. An angel and a beast. A dark, hateful, desperate, devastating beast. I lived a polar night, haunted by tears, cries, long periods of moral and physical annihilation. I lived in a sticky prison, dangerous, violent. It lasted seven years and I fled, sick at heart, leaving behind me two young children. This story was one of the most terrible seisms of my life. She snatched my heart and another grew. A heart more gentle, more empathic, but a heart that still cries.

Inizialmente intitolata ''Illness'' - perchè così pensata allo scatto - le attribuisco ora un doppio titolo per due motivi:

* tre amici Flickr - KeithWatt, _ta' e cat_on_my_lap - mi suggeriscono il secondo Titolo in quanto, nella foto, ci vedono due magnifiche belle labbra rosse per cui: ''The Kiss'';

* come volevasi dimostrare: ogni cosa può essere vista da almeno due angolazioni diverse generando quindi almeno due Verità.


Mom passed away late at night on May 1 after a long illness. Rest in peace, my dear Mom. Perhaps we'll meet again someday in a place where there's no old age or suffering.


"Her full nature spent itself in channels which had no great name upon the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs." -- George Eliot


IF I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

--Emily Dickinson


"The final end would not be darkness. Somewhere, far beyond the night, there would be a brighter and a stronger light." -- Bruce Catton


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." -- 2 Timothy 4:6-8


"Someday we will understand." -- John 13:7

Vic always helps against cancer...she so runs to help to fight this illness...


Vic is suffering a bad moment ... I am with her..I will always care her...that is why friends are for....Kisses Vic!!!!!!!! muahhhhhhhhh!!!


Vic never stops to help...she is an angel!!!!!


Vic ayuda en maratones a luchar contra el cancer ..aun con lesiones ella siempre corre...Vic jamas cesara de ayudar

In Ancient Greek medicine, illness was believed to be caused by an imbalance in four types of body fluids: blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm.


The phlegmatic temperament is traditionally associated with water. People with this temperament may be inward and private, thoughtful, reasonable, calm, patient, caring, and tolerant. They tend to have a rich inner life, seek a quiet, peaceful atmosphere, and be content with themselves. They tend to be steadfast, consistent in their habits, and thus steady and faithful friends

everything was quite normal, just a bit teary, only a tiny wound on their lower lips and nowhere else. no stigmates. nevertheless we hoped that The New will come and all the people and things we've been dreaming of will come true and say: hey, pals, you're not perfect (prone to sadness and illnesses). but, after all, you don't have to be.

Having a severe mental illness is a bit like carrying around a big heavy elephant on your back. It's an incredibly heavy burden to bear that everyone notices but not many people want you to talk about because it makes them uncomfortable or frustrated. No matter how hard you try to grasp on to the happy things, sometimes you just end up feeling empty, alone, and frustrated because you just want to feel in the way that most other people do. It's like holding something delicate in your hands, if you hold on to hard, you'll crush it. Sometimes the best thing you can do is be gentle, understanding, empath, let your loves ones know they are not alone.


I wanted to create a personal series based upon what it's like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder.


1.6% of adults in the United States have Borderline Personality Disorder and it is something that I've struggled with heavily for most of my life. You can read more about the condition here:

Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe, and disabling brain disorder that affects about 1.1 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. People with schizophrenia sometimes hear voices others don’t hear, believe that others are broadcasting their thoughts to the world, or become convinced that others are plotting to harm them. These experiences can make them fearful and withdrawn and cause difficulties when they try to have relationships with others. Distortions in perception may affect all five senses, including sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch, but most commonly manifest as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction. Onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood. Diagnosis is based on the patient's self-reported experiences and observed behavior. No laboratory test for schizophrenia currently exists.




explored #2!! thanks all


i agree with Christa, this is a very serious illness that is joked about far too much...



i cant remeber the last time i used a texture... but i gave in.


I think Puddle of Mudd taught the world about this. :P

Whyyy you ask? THIS is why.

ooooh i love that song. and the video.


I watched Changeling last night.




i totally reccomend it to you all. Its kindof disturbing though... Has a mental hospital <3

im too weird :)


day 128

In this particular piece from the "My Face My Art" Collection I'm wearing an older art work of mine called "Walk With Me" as well as my drawings of trees and the painting "Ancient Streams".


"Ancient Streams" can be seen in my Etsy shop here.


Please see the full My Face My Art Collection by clicking the album with the same title. It's an album showing the art work used to help survive chronic illness and invisible illness. I blend my original art work with selfies to create an image that brings invisible illnesses to the surface.


"The invisible illness becomes visible. It's as clear as the art on my face."


Faith M. Austin

SUNDRIP - Art for Life


All Rights Reserved

Well I contracted a minor illness which in turn trigged my MS; hence turning a minor problem into a major one. I'm on the mend; but it's been two steps forward one step back kind of deal this time:)


Since I've been gone my dear friend Ewa ewka2205 saw fit to dedicate a picture to me on my birthday.

It really made my day Ewa - Thank You:) Click on this to see the image


Due to this illness I've run low on images that I can post, so my return to posting is going to be halting and sporadic in nature.


I will endeavor to visit all that post; however it is going to be slow going - but I will get there:)


I also want to thank all those who inquired to my well being via flickr mail or post - that was very sweet of you:)





When I broke my foot I gained almost 50 pounds. It was a combination of not being able to walk for 7 weeks (more like 13 weeks if you include physical therapy and re-learning to walk) and eating fast food every day. Since then I've continued to gain weight, just not as rapidly.


Essentially, my self esteem has been shot. I somehow got this idea in my mind that only skinny people have a place in art. How could I continue to be the subject of my art if I was no longer small?


That combined with the break with how I feel my body looks versus how my body looks, has been really difficult. I FEEL normal on a daily basis but when I step in front of the camera and SEE how my body has changed, there's an immediate panic that sets in. And then that panic turns into self hatred.


But why? Where did I get this idea from? Why do I think I need to be small to be in art? Why is my self worth based on my weight? And I still don't have an answer. And it's still a struggle for me to get myself in front of the camera.


But today I made that decision and I created a work of art that I really like. And I didn't critique my body the whole time. And I didn't panic. And I didn't beat up on myself. And even though this isn't the most amazing image I've ever created, I'm still really proud of it. Because I created it. And I created it without it causing me to go into self destruct mode. And that's huge for me.

treatment centre.


the reason for me posting these pictures is not my effort to 'advertise' my illness.


the pictures are/will be made due to my fascination regarding the building in which my treatment takes place.


i am intrigued by 'institutions'.


hospitals, police stations, libraries, museums, banks etc.


what intrigues me is the 'ambience' of these places.


the decor, the architecture, the colours, the furnishing.


the building where my treatment takes place is of victorian redbrick construction.


it is large and imposing and was, up until the change of use, a general hospital.


as a treatment centre for mental illness, the interior has changed.


the doors are all keypad security locked [and exceptionally strong], and the feeling instilled by being 'inside' the building is very singular and powerful.


it is, as far as i am concerned, a classic example of an 'institution'.


"Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey"


- Marcel Proust -


To My Illness

Let me go from your grip you horrid beast

I do not need you pulling me into your darkness

making me endure such agony and holding onto the past.

Why do you hold onto me,

haunting my visions

of what you did to me in the past.

Remembering is all

reignites the anguish

making my mind explode with such agony.


Why do you have to do this?

Can't you see I want out,

to be free and far away from you,

to be able to feel the sunlight shining once again upon my face

and be clear minded once again.

But right when I think that I am free,

you pull me back into your abyss.


Into the cauldron of your wickedness,

and your shadows of false illusion.

No matter what though you will never hold me down,

for I am stronger than you think I can be.


No longer shall I listen to you,

let your false words and emotions destroy me.

Because of you I have lost to much already,

lost chances of love which my heart shall never heal from.


You are dead to me,

and the dead do not speak,

do not love, do not think or create.


Yet I do....

and shall continue to fight to the very end

for I am alive and survived you so far and shall continue


to live my life, for who I am.

Song Credits

This self portrait is the most recent addition to my Enchanted Sleep series on living with myalgic encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This photo touches on both the hair loss I was experiencing because of the disease, but in a larger sense represents all the things chronic illness takes from you. But it is not without hope, as I wanted the warm pinky colors to imply.


Yesterday marked my fifth anniversary of living with the disease, and as usual, I wrote blog post about it. I've also teamed up with a really amazing fundraiser trying to crowd-source funding for a drug that could be a potential game-changer for everyone with ME/CFS. As part of my effort in trying to aid their cause, I am holding a print giveaway! Check my blog out for details on how to enter!


*Red Bubble





*Sarah Allegra Artistry

The field of psychiatry and neurology are rapidly changing. The revolution in research brought about by the discovery of non-invasive means of looking inside the brain has resulted in a rediscovery of the fundamental truth that the serious mental illnesses are the result of genetic, chemical, electrical, structural, or traumatic problems in the brain. More and more, we are discovering that Alzheimer's Disease, Tourette Syndrome, Seizure Disorders, Schizophrenia, Anxiety Disorders, and Depression are brain illnesses and deserve equivalent levels of treatment and compassion.


But, because we cannot know about nor provide information about all brain illnesses and traumas, we are especially concerned about Anxiety and Panic Disorders, Bipolar Disorder, Severe Depression, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Schizophrenia which are among the most devastating of the brain illnesses and about which there is still great misunderstanding and prejudice.


While other brain illnesses--from Alzheimer's to Seizure Disorder--can be equally debilitating, we find that the illnesses we are most concerned about continue to need our especial care and concern because of the misconceptions, discrimination, and potential for destruction that are involved in having or loving someone who has one of these five categories of brain illness.



explore #1 thank you all!


um so yea. you kind of HAVE to view it here. please? ill cry if you dont :( you wont regret it i SWEAR. ill love you forever. pleaseeee? come one im asking nicely here. its the least you could do for the last in the series...


Here it is, the last in the series "Welcome to the Psych Ward". This has really been some of my best, and personal favorite, work on flickr I've done yet. I've learned so much and realized how truly, utterly, frighteningly complex the human mind is. I want to thank everyone so much for all of the views, comments, faves, suggestions, ideas, support, and love. You all are just too amazing for words. HUGE thanks to anyone who followed the project since the start.


I apologize if you had a mental illness suggestion i coulnt get around to or if my brain totally died and i just plain didnt have any ideas.


SO now when you hear about someone with some mental illness, maybe youll have a bit more interest to check it out. Cos were all morbid like that :)


I hope all of you learned something too

As most of my contacts know I have had a turbulent couple of years with family illness, a leaky roof and other stuff, well on top of all that last weekend my eldest sister passed away, this is why I haven't been on again.

My last couple of pictures have had an amazing amount of views and comments and I hope you understand why I haven't had the chance to recipricate those comments and I'm not sure I can reply to all of them due to the amount but I really do appreciate every single one and I would like to thank you all giving me a much needed boost in such dark times.

Also sorry for taking a while to reply to your e-mails but I'm sure you understand but hopefully things will get back to normal soon where I will be able to catch up on all your amazing streams.


I managed to get out today and headed to a field near Falmer in Sussex which I have wanted to visit for a couple of years now as this is another place I drive past almost daily on my train.

I also had some money left from my Getty sales so treated myself to a Hoya Polariser Pro 1 for my Nikon 16-85 and wanted to try it out.

The farmer came past and was very happy for me to take pictures in his field as long as I closed the gate behind me, thanks Mr Farmer :)

I took quite a few pictures which I will probably post soon after this one.

I really liked this one due to the way the light was falling across the hill as the clouds where moving past.

I used my polariser to deepen the blues and saturate the greens so really pleased with the results.


Once again thank you all for your continued support :)


Taken With

►Nikon D300s

►Nikon 16-85 @85mm

►Hoya Polariser

►Tripod + Cable Release

►Mirror Lock Up


Press 'L' on your keyboard to view on black

Before surgery in Sept....

Hydrotherapy was a popular method of treatment for mental illness at the beginning of the twentieth century, and was used at many institutions. Water was thought to be an effective treatment because it could be heated or cooled to different temperatures, which, when applied to the skin, could produce various reactions throughout the rest of the body. One of the main benefits of hydrotherapy treatment was its ability to take effect quickly. Hydrotherapy could be accomplished with baths, packs, or sprays. Warm continuous baths were used to treat patients suffering from insomnia, those considered to be suicidal and assaultive, and calmed excited and agitated behaviour. A patient could expect a continuous bath treatment to last from several hours to several days, or sometimes even over night. Continuous baths were the most effective when held in a quiet room with little light and audio stimulation, thus allowing the patient to relax and possibly even fall asleep. Bath temperatures typically ranged from 92°F to 97°F, so as not to cause injury to the patients. Packs consisted of sheets dipped in varying temperatures of water, which were then wrapped around the patient for several hours depending on the case. Sprays functioned like showers, and used either warm or cold water. Cold water was used to treat patients diagnosed with manic-depressive psychoses, and those showing signs of "[e]xcitement and increased motor activity." Application of cold water slowed down blood flow to the brain, decreasing mental and physical activity. The temperature for a cold pack ranged between 48°F and 70°F.


I've dipped into the archives for this one. Amid the illness, business etc. that's been slowing my "one-a-week" resolution, I also have to admit that part of the problem is that I've run out of finished images worth uploading for the time being, and I haven't been too motivated lately to get any more ready.


I took this shot of the globally-famous St. Paul's Cathedral from the rather excellently named "Knightrider Court". There were these steps everywhere and I spent a while trying different compositions using the steps. I have two that worked pretty well, and although initially (6 months ago!) I preferred the other, I now agree with everyone that's seen both that this one is better.


Ironically, when I shot this I was going through a similar "uninspired" phase with my photography, and this trip (which I ran for my University's photography society) actually helped rekindle my love of photography. Fingers crossed that's just around the corner again...


The shot:

- Canon EOS 400D/Digital Rebel XTi

- Sigma 10-20mm f/4.5-5.6 EX DC HSM @ 17mm

- 30 seconds @ f/20, ISO100, Manual mode

- Manfrotto 190XPROB tripod with Giottos MH-5001 3-way head



- Exposure and WB adjustments in Adobe Camera Raw

- Perspective correction with the Transform tool

- Cloned some (a lot!) of chewing gum patches off the foreground

- Gradient Map Soft Light layer for contrast

- Selective Levels and Curves for colour and contrast

- High Pass layer in Soft Light mode for local contrast

- Local contrast boost with USM on L channel

- Resized and selectively sharpened with USM on L channel

Despite illnesses, one has to spend a while with the camera and see a pheasant we found as well as some other birds

I asked people to describe their illness as a metaphor. I edited this image on photoshop which describes how someone with depression feels as though they are drowning.

This week is National Tinnitus Awareness week.


Tinnitus is not a disease or an illness, but it's still incurable.


It can affect someone's life all the time or it could come and go.


Tinnitus is horrendous to live with.


I have suffered from Tinnitus for 20 years. I am only 28 years old.


You can find more about Tinnitus here:


Taken from the above website is the following:


Tinnitus is the name given to the condition of noises 'in the ears' and/or 'in the head' with no external source. Tinnitus noises are described variously as ringing, whistling, buzzing and humming.


The noise/s may be heard in one ear, both ears or in the middle of the head or it may be difficult to pinpoint its exact location. The noise may be low, medium or high-pitched. There may be a single noise or two or more components. The noise may be continuous or it may come and go.


What causes tinnitus?


Tinnitus is not a disease or an illness, it is a symptom generated within a person's own auditory pathways. Although it is often assumed that tinnitus occurs as a result of disease of the ears, this is often not the cause. The precise cause of tinnitus is still not fully understood but is usually associated with some hearing deficits.


Who gets tinnitus?


Experiences of tinnitus are very common in all age groups, especially following exposure to loud noise, however, it is unusual for it to be a major problem. There is a widely held misconception that tinnitus is confined to the elderly, but various studies have shown that it can occur at any age, even quite young children. Mild tinnitus is common - about 10 per cent of the population have it all the time and, in up to one per cent of adults, this may affect the quality of their life.


This is not really a self portrait. I had put my cam on the ground (i had no tripod with me) and my friend H took a similair shot of me. I prefered his over mine.


Taken in a psychiatric hospital


Thanks Henny!

I'm start to work for "The New York Times", in sunday review / the opinion page.

You can see the illustration in this link :



我開始幫紐約時報 The New York Times 畫插畫了,刊登在週日的 Sunday Review / The Opinion Page 版面。這次的主題是Defining Mental illness,精神疾病診斷是有益還是有害。






Having a severe mental illness is a bit like carrying around a big heavy elephant on your back. It's an incredibly heavy burden to bear that everyone notices but not many people want you to talk about because it makes them uncomfortable. It's lonely.


I wanted to create a personal series based upon what it's like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder.


1.6% of adults in the United States have Borderline Personality Disorder and it is something that I've struggled with heavily for most of my life. You can read more about the condition here:

Denbigh Asylum, AKA North Wales Hospital was built in 1844 and completed in1848. Designed by the Architect Thomas Full James and is now a grade ll listed building. The hospital was only to treat people with psychiatric illness. In its early years it could accommodate up to two hundred patients, many extensions were added over the years to accommodate many more. It finally closed in sections from 1991 to 1995. The hospital now is derelict, many parts are very unsafe to enter. Fire took out one wing recently, the inner floors and roof completely destroyed. It was very eerie exploring the hospital today but a great opportunity....

My illness took over again, quickly and harshly. I found myself doubled over in unbearable pain, shivering, sweating so much you'd think I just got out of the shower, sensitivity to light, sounds, and most scents/smells, and the grand finale; stomach seizures which cause vomiting.


Rushed to the ER, after many doses of the usual meds given I was admitted to a hospital ward where things only got worse. I wasn't getting medicine, the doctors were treating me terribly, and I couldn't sleep/get comfortable for a full 18 hours-until they finally realized I wasn't getting better and decided they should try some medicine. (wow, what a concept!!!)


18 hours of suffering. 3 days lost in my memory.

It's always a struggle, some sort of showdown. I have to literally fight to get help.


And then I, the patient, get the scars of the IVs, the marks of the pain patches that are barely keeping me functioning. What this has done to my mind and physical self..I'll never be able to explain.


Life... It is so fragile.


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