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I was cleaning up (read: organizing) my diabetes cupboard and I saw the box of syringes, I was bored enough that I decided to line them up and take a picture.
There were 60 of them, which used to be a month worth of basal rate if you will (14 units of levimir in the morning, and 16 at night).
There is no cure for diabetes...
This week's focus for Diabetes 365 is the costs of diabetes.
For me, one of the costs of diabetes has been loosing the niceness of the nails on my toes. This is due to my cycling shoes that I wear while I bike in the Tour de Cure's for diabetes. Had I not had diabetes, this is most likely not something I would be doing.
I have pretty much managed to destroy both my pinky toes thanks to my cycling shoes. I'm not sure they'll ever have normal looking nails, they're all bruised and everything, and while I do consider this a cost of diabetes, I think I can say that it's one of the costs that I will gladly endure and that I'm thankful for (most days).
There is no cure for diabetes...
A stall full of Swatch-like plastic watches at Tung Choi Street, Hong Kong. I bought a couple because they were so cheap, and pretty cute. But it also reminded me that as a diabetic, I'm constantly checking my watch. When was the last time I ate? Do I need to test my blood sugar now? Is it time for a snack? I guess having a cute watch makes things a little happier, sometimes. :)
So, the other day I went to check my blood sugar, but instead of a decent sample I just sprayed blood all over my face and shirt. In the moment I just had to laugh and snap a picture. :-)
---------WARNING: In sad mood-rant inevitable----------------------------
I don't like to consider myself unhealthy or differently-abled, but I am. I'm not in a wheelchair and I'm not really physically or cognitively impaired (save for those all to regular hypo/hyperglycemic moments when my body betrays me), but I'm not in the norm, either.
Today I'm just really sick of being lumped in with all diabetics, specifically type 2's. I mean no disrespect to type 2's, but it's a totally different reality and disease and everyone around me, upon hearing that I'm diabetic, goes off about what they know about their own or others type 2 diabetes.
My aunt and grandma are type 2 and they NEVER test their bloodsugar and they aren't on insulin, take one pill a day, never exercise, eat sweets daily, consume what they want (more or less), and their A1C's are still way under mine. My grandma just did a victory dance today because she got her A1C back and it was 6.8. I love my grandma and I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but I'm sorry--she didn't "earn" that victory.
I work hard but seem to be brushed off with "lower your A1C" and "get your weight down" and while of course that is what needs to be done, no one sees the daily grind and the ways I work my ass off to be as healthy as I am. It just gets to me because my other friends who are type 2 are the same way--they don't test and because their bodies still produce insulin, they're better off than I am glucose level wise, despite my never-ending hard work managing my disease. And while I don't wish this on anyone and am glad they aren't burdened in the same way, I don't have that luxury, and I don't see our diseases as similar in many ways at all.
I test 10 times a day and take 6-7 shots a day and watch what I eat, exercise while managing bloodsugar levels and fret and pre-plan and calculate and carb count and all the rest and I STILL have an A1C of 7.2 and I'm STILL spending this afternoon at the Eye Institute talking to my doc about the newly discovered retinopathy in my eyes.
I don't want to be a whiner, and I don't wan to be a victim. It's just that this morning, after going to bed with a bloodsugar of 308 and waking up with one of 142 after no correction nor food (I was just curious what my body would do since I am having all these lows overnight for some reason I do not yet know), I am tired. I am tired of playing doctor, life coach, pancreas, cheerleader, psychologist, trainer and friend to myself. I really do wish type 1 diabetes had a different name because the reality of this disease compared with type 2 is usually very, very different.
I haven't posted in a long while, so I suppse this can be day 1, and I can try to start all over again. I feel like a frail leaf, today: struggling to find money for food, utilities, and medicines, and walking lots and lots to get there! I have walked nearly 12,000 steps today, or about 6 miles. I don't have a car, so things are very difficult. Got low and weird, along the way, so I had to have snack bars... and wait. I looked like a nutjob, sitting on the lawn of a local bike shop, and looking sort of dazed.
It's been a rough week. Heck, been a rough few weeks, and month. I lost my aunt, I haven't found a job (came real close this week, but they rejected me after the second interview), and I've struggled with emotional binge eating.
Things are feeling a little better now, and a few folks have offered to help me with strips.
Being Diabetic, and indigent... is very, very hard.
But I am still greatful:
* For food pantries and generous hearts
* For free strips
* For a caring partner to be by my side when all else is crappy
It is a beautiful, sunny Friday here in Taiwan. I took a break over my lunch hour to sit outside near the fountain and read the book my diabetes buddy, Beth, sent me, "Truth and Beauty." I tested my bloodsugar and the fingerprick made my finger gush. Proof is on page 94.
There is no cure for diabetes.
Diabetes365 Day 49
Every 3 days as an insulin pump wearer, I have to change my infusion set site (the place where the insulin goes into me). As a result, there are a minimum of 10 site changes a month (more if a site gets irritated).
These are all just belly/waist sites. I also use my thighs and my arms and my buns and my hips.
There is no cure for diabetes...
The sun rising while I'm driving to work. I'm going to miss the mountain views.
I think they blew my vein when I donated blood yesterday. Nice bruise, right?
My husband made me the ornament he gave me this year. It's our initials. :) He cast it out of aluminum. He's a smarty pants.
Sunday July 24, 2011
Oh, strawberries, I don't always know how to bolus for you, but I love you so.
People with diabetes are part of an exclusive club - The Strip Club. Dues are very expensive, ranging from $3 to $15 a day. To maintain membership, members have to provide multiple blood samples everyday. The club refuses to reduce or discount membership dues In spite of repeated requests from its members. Members wish that they did not have to continue membership, but they don't have a choice, because currently, once they are involuntarily enrolled in the club, they cannot opt out.
There is no cure for diabetes, yet.
Wednesday May 9, 2012
You know you're a diabetic when you reach into the pockets of a coat you haven't worn for ages, and find these.
While the doorbell was ringing and the munchkins were picking their candy, I had cranberries and kielbasa cooking on the stove. It smells amazing, and it surprisingly yummy, but wreaks havoc on my BGs... quick spike and then a delayed drop. :-P
Diabetes365 Day 61
Do you check you blood sugar a lot? This might look familiar to you.
4 holes and one middle finger = 5 (numbers week)
I've recently started walking home from work when it's nice out and I have the time (it's 5 miles so it takes ~2 hours). It's a fun walk and it keeps my bg nice and level!
the topper for my first christmas tree in my place in ages. i love gingerbread men, but i love the frosting the most. not so friendly to the bs.
My son's art project which he titled Balloon Fiesta Ready. Best viewed in large.
I wanted to post this because my son has been going through some difficulties with his diabetes. His Blood Sugars have been HIGH for some unknown reason (maybe a growth spurt) which can cause major complications. He was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of two and he is now seven. We have spent numerous hours at the doctor's office lately as well as conversing with his doctor through email to make daily adjustments on his insulin dosage. He is also monitored at night and has been getting insulin injections (shots) in the middle of the night while he is sleeping to bring down his blood sugar. High blood sugars can also cause Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA) which can cause him to go into a coma or even death.
Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease that results in the permanent destruction of insulin producing beta cells of the pancreas. Autoimmunity is a condition where one's own immune system "attacks" structures in one's own body either destroying the tissue or decreasing its functionality.
Insulin is not cure, but does keep my son alive. My family and I are dedicated to help find a cure for this life threatening disease.
Sunday September 18, 2011
Sunday afternoon, we had a Colombian feast with my boyfriend's family. Even Harry ate too much.
This is the only nondescript photo of the place we looked at that I felt like I could put up here. The place had an offer on it before I made it home. But it was nice to think I stood a chance.
Of course the dialated eye shot after the eye dr appt. And this is after that had gotten a little smaller. But the doc said everything looks great!!!
Having Type 1 Diabetes can make a person feel different. It's not so easy to blend in when you need to test, take shots, or wear an insulin pump. Your life can revolve around food, numbers, and the idea of looming complications.
Sometimes it's hard not to see myself as that lone tiny lavender colored crocus surrounded by the strong deep purple ones. But I can always turn that statement around. I can remember that although diabetes makes me a little different, I am still beautiful in my own way like that tiny flower.
There is no cure for Type 1 or Type 2 Diabetes.
Sometimes I feel like this duck, about to get flooded out of his pool.
Saturday October 15, 2011
My first time apple picking! I'm going to need more peanut butter...
LOVE this picture. There is just something about it that makes me grin every single time.
O_o Not cool headphones. Took a good 5 minutes to get untangled.
Sunday December 4, 2011
Instead of taking a D365 picture and working on my final papers (due this week!!!!), I spent Sunday researching wedding venues and taking 10,000 cell phone pictures of Harry. Oops.
Diabetes365 Day 50
we spent the day at disneyland and disney's california adventure. it was fun!
all of the walking meant i didn't bolus as much for my meals, which worked out nicely. :)
insulin is not a cure.
My new tattoo. It's on my inner right wrist. I'm not good at wearing jewelry, so this seemed a logical thing to do. (And I just love tattoos. (Much to my mom's dismay :P) She just needs to suck it up and get one.) WHEN we find a cure for diabetes, I can have it removed.
Total props to Nate at Cracker Jack's in Gatlinburg!
If a person is diagnosed with diabetes and is insulin dependent, that person is trained to give oneself insulin injections. Depending on one's needs, a diabetic may end up taking between 4 to 8 insulin injections a day. Injections are usually administered in the abdomen, although the thighs and the arms are also used. Some diabetics suffer from Trypanophobia , fear of injections (or Aichmophobia, fear of pointed objects). The regimen of taking multiple injections of insulin to manage blood glucose levels is often referred to as MDI (Multiple Daily Injections).
There is no cure for diabetes, yet.
Although she is better, this day she is still not quite herself. We have a lot of cool art in Santa Fe. This is a new installation at the Railyard Park.
I'd mentioned earlier that I love to eat sprouts. For the past few weeks, I've been sprouting fenugreek seeds along with some mung beans on the advice of my mother. I've noticed that the fenugreek sprouts improve my insulin sensitivity, thus reducing my total daily dose of insulin. Apart from having additional health benefits, I love the slightly bitter taste of the fenugreek too. Food that tastes great, and does your body good. Can't beat that.
I don't recall why I took this picture. I think I am just enjoying all of the green outside. :-)
It's hard struggling with poor eating habits, or lifestyle changes. Sometimes, we feel deprived and want to binge, or we feel like we've failed a lot in our lifelong quest to lead a healthy life. I've really been feeling like that a lot, lately. Fortunately, every day is a new beginning... and as the day winds down, you know you can count on life always giving you a brand new chance. The hubby and I went for a walk, this evening... and enjoyed this beautiful sunset. :) I share it here, so you too can enjoy!
PS. I had waaaay too much london broiled stake and broccoli, but it was oh, so good!
Tea. It is the elixir that keeps me going. I steep the tea leaves in boiling hot water using a small tea steeper, and then add half a cup of almond milk. Tea doesn't spike my blood sugar, so I don't have to bolus for it. Half a cup of almond milk has a gram of carbs, so I skip the insulin if my BG is in range. I'm waiting on a fresh consignment of tea before I make another batch of my spice tea mix.