DAY THIRTY ONE I took this pic a month ago at Peckham Rye Common.
5.25am Another too-early rise for me, I attempt to deny Carys her mothers milk until 6.00am* but she grumbles when I carry her to the kitchen, I’m too tired to fight her so give up and take her upstairs for milk. *We are trying to deny her milk until a later time in the morning in the hope that she will not wake up as early for it, or perhaps I may substitute for something else as delicious like a Nutella sandwich or a giant frozen pyramid of Toblerone she can gnaw on.
6.00am Carys is redelivered to me and we play ‘Puppy & Master’, this is a game where I throw a fluffy ball to a corner of the room then she crawls off to fetch it and bring it back to me. No barking, but I’m sure I can teach her.
10.15am Carys naps.
12.15am Carys wakes.
12.20pm Carys does a huge smelly plop in her pants, just as someone is about to come and view the flat, I now have a dilemma, change her nappy straight away and risk spreading a stench throughout the place, or try and contain it.
12.30pm Two young trendies – in the truest sad sense of the word, view the flat, they go into the bathroom and Carys chases them , her body language says ‘What the bllody hell do you think you’re doing in my bathroom?’ after they’ve looked around we have a casual Q&A. Just as I’m bigging-up the crap door handles that catch in my belt loops an order is barked out from a small person, ‘Bab bargh barGHHHH! Rudely I have interrupted feeding Carys her man sized bowl of banana porridge, I have halt the Q&A and get back to the serious business of feeding.
1.50pm The word ‘Oi!’ stops Carys quite literally in her tracks, it’s very handy when she’s about to escape or grab, rip, drop, throw anything she may not be allowed to. ‘No’ has zero meaning to her at all.
2.30pm Carys has adopted a sinister laugh this past few days which she just practices as she staggers around the flat, it’s based on a rasping Syd James-watching-dirty films.
4.00pm Sarah comes home with a nice story from her work place…
1. A cockney boy approaches Sarah’s desk, Sarah tells him to get back into his seat and to put his hand up to speak with her.
2. Cockney boy goes back to his chair and raises his arm.
3. Yes Cockney boy, what is it?
4. Cockney boy says “Miss, Jermaine and Leroy called me an Irish Cunt”
5. Irish kid puts his hand up.
6. Sarah says, “yes what is it Fergal?”
7. Fergal, “I’m Irish miss”
6.00pm I keep wanting to call Carys ‘sunshine’, but as she’s a lady I’ve adopted the term ‘Daughtershine’.
7.00pm I meet up with my brother down The Green in East Dulwich, have a pint then head off to Golden Lee for the Chineseathon, we order about 16 dishes and stuff our faces over about two and a half hours. I love eat-as-much-as-you-like type food, it’s living my boyhood dream of stuffing myself with as much food as possible aka half the Beano and Dandy stories.
11.00pm Get home, oops it’s way past my bedtime.