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doscientos treinta

two days left of being an "active" associate for the bank.


i'm so over this place it's kinda sad.


a part of me, is excited to just bust outta here and be "free" and all that jazz!! another part, is starting to get nervous.


am i doing the right thing?

will i regret not looking for an office job sooner?

stuff like that.


it warms my heart how so many of my friends and family are being supportive and reminding me that i "got this!" and that i'm "going to do awesome!". it's so nice to get that feedback when i'm in this "what am i doing?" thing. it's good feeling like i'm not alone - yet it's a little nerve-wrecking when i feel those same eyes are on me waiting to see what happens next.


do i trust and confide in my skill? yes. aside from those times where the setting and/or elements might not be exactly what i wanted, but absolutely yes. what i worry about is the income. i don't shoot to make a quick buck, but w/o a full-time job to fall back on, income will be something i've got to think about and consider now. and i think that's the part that makes me most anxy.


i'm glad that i'm taking the opportunity and in all sense of the saying, running with it. i wouldn't quit on purpose to take on photography full-time, and everyone and their mom has asked ME (like i'm freakin' top management) why wouldn't the bank choose to keep me onboard, over some others that were chosen. it's a mystery. which is why i think it's happening for a reason, even if i don't get it.


i'm going to hold on to the fearless part of me, and just go. this life of mine has been bumpy - and some times b/c of decisions i've made. but, in the end it works. somehow, it does. armando reminds me of that when i start to freak about things. and i gotta trust that this will too.


oh right, 7 for 50of50

and i had an SB900 w/ a diffuser on the body pointing straight at me. like a noob. :)

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Taken on October 9, 2012