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New Month's Day -- Snowdance | by -Snugg-
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New Month's Day -- Snowdance

It's December. And you know what it did today? It rained. Rain! The warm, sloppy, oozy kind. In December. I tell you! Have you ever heard of something so outrageous?

 

Neither had I.

 

So, I set out to right this tremendous wrong. But when dealing with the weather denizens one has to be cryptic. You can't just go out and holler to the heavens "I'd like a large snow, please, with some icicles and a side of bluster." They'll never listen to you that way! You've got to be spiritual and philosophical about it. The first thing you have to do is find an open, flat place with little distractions and go there at the crack of dawn. Sitting there, proceed to empty your mind. Clear away all thoughts of everything except snow. Think of the lovely times you've had in the snow, and the lovely times you plan to have. Think of all the joyous emotions that would fill your stuffing if only there was snow.

 

With these thoughts, start to sing. Don't think about what you are singing, just sing. If you've done everything right, you will be singing about snow (though you won't even really know that you're singing at all, of course). Shortly after you start singing, you should start dancing. Dance snowishly. And keep on dancing all through the rest of the morning, afternoon, evening, and night. At midnight, conclude your new month's day snowdance with one final, deploring howl and reach your paws up towards the heavens.

 

Oh, and the last step: wait for snow.*

  

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*be patient. The text above is merely a guide. Acting upon these instructions does not guarantee gratification in the form of snow, ice, sleet, hail, or any other wintry precipitation. It is possible that no gratification will come at all. This ritual has only been done once and therefore its results (which have not yet been observed) alone are not sufficient statistical evidence to suggest that there is a correlation between the above-mentioned actions and the weather. Snugglepup and his gang are not responsible for any injuries acquired during the performance of these actions, or any unexpected outcomes. Please post in the box below with questions, comments or concerns.

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Taken on December 2, 2010