i remember when i was away and i couldn't sleep at night. and how i got out of bed and ran down the four flights of stairs, through the halls, down the incline to the student parking, to my silver vw. fighting that cold lump forming in my throat. i remember turning on the heater and the way it made my car smell. my feet were the first to melt.
sometimes i would drive for hours. i would find myself falling asleep by the atlantic ocean. after screaming at the sea and blaming it for everything. i would play that song over again and again until it was like breathing. an involuntary movement and sound that i was no longer aware i was hearing.
its been raining all day. and i've been breathing.
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