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My greatest Loss

It's been One Year I suddenly lost my beloved father from an unexpected fulminating stroke. He passed away on a Friday 13th, the worst day in my life. One year of Grieve, putting myself together, one day after the other.

It was traumatic, I've never cried as much, never hurt that much. I hadn't really learned the meaning of Despair till then. it's been a long process. He was the joy in our lives, our Anchor.

 

It was in the middle of a real storm, one I'd never expected, most powerful than I could've ever imagined, that I learned how strong and fragile I could be. One doesn't learn that until Darkness comes with no short notice... A water divisor I wish it hadn't happened.

I've learned a lot about myself and people in general after this.

I also learned who my real friends are, not that many, by the way, but priceless. Some stayed by my side, others revealed they weren't such good friends... and there were a few who surprised me, who checked on me from time to time to see how I was doing, offered me help, sincerely and not afraid I could accept it. I call it even.

I thank those good old friends and the new ones, for their support, compassion, their Friendship. I thank my boyfriend, my Family and my Brother, who has become our anchor.

and my Flickr friends who kept visiting and posting on my photos, even when I spent months hardly commenting on anyone's.

One doesn't remain the same after such loss. I haven't. Life is, indeed, short... and it can end from one minute to the other. I'm learning to say "I love you" more often, to give my love more often to the ones who matter.

In the last year my ambitions have also changed, I want to be happy doing what I do, I don't want to change the way I see the world and people through my lenses in order to fit where some people may think I should. Life is too short for that. I'll stand with the ones who appreciate, value, what I do.

As a person, I'll stand with good people, the strong in character, the ones who know the value of friendship, love. I want to be the best person I can, honor the man my father was and everything he taught me.

I learned so much from him, he was a Genuine Good, Unselfish, Loving Person. A Real Father, Husband, Son, Brother, Friend. A Great Man, with an amazing Character (one either has it or not, there's no mid term for that) a man of his Word. He was so Unique, died young... full of plans, full of life. The World is a sadder place without him.

It's with tears going down that I dedicate this self portrait to Him, who was never afraid to show the ones he loved how much he cared, who helped others, who raised his family with all his heart, love, tenderness. A man I'll miss till the end of my life.

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Breathe Me

 

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Taken on November 20, 2007