one step forward, two steps back.
im not suicidal. let's get that straight.
i don't need tips about suicidal hotlines or anything like that. i just had a really bad day. in fact, today was the worst day of my life. so far.
i had an eye appt. this morning and the women that work in there are so freaking rude. i smiled at them and asked them how they were and even told them to have a good day on my way out, and all they did was glare at me and yell at me when i forgot to put my signature somewhere.
then, i go to wilson's cleaners to apply for a job. i turn the application over and they have questions like "if jimmy's dry cleaning cost 18.38 and he gives you a $50, how much change does he get back?" surprise. i can't do math in my head. i couldn't tell you what 12+9 was unless you let me count on my fingers. i can't do simple math. and i can't pass my ACT or SAT because of my awful math skills. so i can't get into college. and im going to be a bum and NOT work in wilson's cleaners because obviously you have to know how to do simple math to steam press a shirt.
i went to sonic for lunch and they messed up my order TWICE. i ordered a burger with mayo and cheese, no lettuce and a coke. they give me a burger with mustard, no cheese or tomatoes and lettuce. and a root beer. i give it back, they bring out a chicken strip meal. im like WTF. i wanted to say, "i just told that girl to her face what i ordered. do i need to come in there and make it myself?"
on the way home i saw a man selling puppies and im thinking "awww! i wanna see them!" and then i see the man grab one of the puppies and THROW him into a box. im not joking, he threw him. like, launched him. the puppy was trying to drink from it's mother so he put it away. the mother dog and the father dog were there for confirmation that the puppies were full blooded whatever they are. he could have lightly set the puppy down in the box or held it. OR he could have got a little bottle and fed it, since obviously it's hungry. i fucking hate people who don't think animals have feelings. when you hit them, do they squeel? YES. SO THEY MUST FEEL.
then i see a dead dog in the middle of the road as im pulling into my neighborhood. and i spill my coke on the driveway. and then i start sobbing and i can't find my house key. so i just sat down on the front porch step and cried until i could pull myself back together.
i know bad days happen and then you have a good day.. but this one was too much for me. i can't get into college, i can't find a job, and animals are being abused because they can't feel. i want to die or kill someone.