at least i'm not a bully

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    it is unbelievable how far people will go to hurt others. it is infuriating to me to read things like this story about a 15 year old girl who hung herself after being bullied online, via text messages, and in school by 9 of her classmates. why did they bully her? because she was different.

    phoebe prince had just moved with her family from ireland to western Massachusetts. seeing she was different, these 9 students took it upon themselves to ridicule and torment her. three months enduring horrible rumors and grief from these people, she took her life by hanging herself from a stairwell.

    on the day of her death it was found that students had harassed her in the library, the lunchroom and the hallways, and someone threw a canned drink at her as she was walking home from school.

    these actions disturb me, but they remind me of my own troubles as a teenager as well. i was harassed in very similar ways for the simple fact that i was different. i was not a christian, i did not go to church, my family was not rich, and we were very quiet people. i was beaten up daily, from second grade, all the way up to my last years of highschool. my little brother dropped out in his senior year due to the treatment he endured, and i at one point had to be escorted to classes by the school police officer in order to make it from class to class without being shoved against lockers or have things thrown at me.

    my senior year of highschool, i wrote a paper that shocked a lot of people, but also opened the eyes of the faculty and student body. my paper was entitled "why columbine happened." yes it was written partly to shock people, but also because i believe that things like that, and these suicides, could be prevented, if the school system, and parents, did not turn a blind eye to bullying.

    the two boys that opened fire on their classmates on april 20, 1999, were mentally disturbed, however, their situations were worsened by the fact that their classmates ridiculed them, and abused them so severely, that they lashed out the way they did. its like throwing things at a wild animal.

    some people lash out violently. some people go home and hang themself. i was strong, and i held my head up and i said:

    you can call me any name you want.. but at least i'm not a bully.

    bullies are everywhere. not just in high schools. there are even so called adults who do these things as well. i have learned that people who bully others are nothing more than attention starved people, who most likely have low self esteem themselves. they feel they should push others around to make themselves feel big. in truth they are very small.

    so, if you are being bullied, threatened, harassed, anything... please keep your chin up, and remember that at least you are not a bully. and please also remember that harassment online is a serious offense and depending on your state the people who are harassing you can be fined a large sum of money or even go to jail.

    if your child is being bullied in school or anywhere, take action. don't just sit there and let it happen. go to their school and demand something be done to put a stop to it. my parents were at my school so many times to stop people from bullying me, but when i was a teenager they didn't have the laws that they do now. these days bullies can be punished, and laws have been set up to protect people from harassment.

    i am proud to be a part of pink shirt day in second life (please contact December Dollinger for more information) it isn't until April 14th but i read that article today and i was appalled, and i wanted to write something.

    also YES you have permission to use this! spread it around! NO MORE BULLIES!

    seen on:

    MissEm Boa, Tyr (Grommit), and 11 other people added this photo to their favorites.

    1. MissEm Boa 49 months ago | reply

      AMEN to this! Instant...Fav!!! Indeed!!

    2. Ðeni (away/travel) 49 months ago | reply

      Mecca and I have been talking about this case in e-mail. It's really, really sad. Last year an 11 year old boy killed himself too, after being bullied. i'm glad those involved are being charged criminally. hopefully, that will be the norm from now on.

      I've said this before but I'll bring it up again anyway. There's a HUGE difference between saying what you believe, even if if others don't agree, and bullying [constant petty name calling and harrassment, including the spreading of notes, lies and rl information].

      You and I first met over a difference of opinion that wasn't at all pleasant but neither of us resorted to the name calling. That's adult behavior. Unfortunately, from what i've seen in flickr some have no idea what the difference is and think it's cool to egg on the hate.

      Anyway, best way to deal with it, is to not give them the time of day. I block those people as well as the ones that encourage it .. guilty by association? yes.

    3. Miss Blackflag 49 months ago | reply

      Ðeni indeed we had our scuffle and we left each other alone, and honestly i wish that's what everyone would do. leave each other alone! if you don't like someone, turn the other way! block, mute, ignore, turn the other way, don't look at them, don't read things they say, don't listen to them. its hard when its a bully though, because bullies need attention and if you aren't giving it to them they have to take it somehow. but when they don't have that attention to feed on, they disappear. and if they don't, well that's where the police and laws come in handy! unforunately bullies are also good at making people think they are the victim in things.. and they feed on that attention as well. a rl friend of mine is being stalked and harassed by her ex who used to beat her up. he has had her kids taken away and is making her out to be the bad person, but he has made her life a living nightmare...people are on his side because he is from here and they all know him, but she is not from this area and so they see her as a stranger and act like he can do no wrong. if only people would open their eyes and realize that there is something very wrong with those people, they would stop cheering them on.

    4. Ðeni (away/travel) 49 months ago | reply

      the case spurred the passage of a bullying bill in Massachusetts

      hopefully more States will follow suit and pass more stringent laws, including one's that address internet bullying. the girl in this case was also harrassed by the kids being charged via text messages and on facebook. even after her death they allegedly left nasty messages on her facebbook memorial page. sick people.

    5. Lollie Capalini 49 months ago | reply

      It blows my mind the severity of bullying....makes you think twice about ever wanting to have kids in this day and age with this type of shit going on.

    6. Ðeni (away/travel) 49 months ago | reply

      Exert from an article by a Psychiatrist on bullies:

      Bullies are good at detecting victims who feel things deeply or who are unsure of themselves because, underneath it all, they are on the run from their own feelings and uncertain of their own worth. That’s why they band together and go on the offense as a group. They can pretend to be more valuable than their targets and less vulnerable.

      Make no mistake about it: The suffering of Phoebe Prince had to have been sport for these teens. Dehumanizing her had to have been intoxicating. They were getting high together. Hating another person, like any drug, has the effect of distancing people from their own deep doubts and despondency.,2933,590111,00.html

    7. °||° 49 months ago | reply

      Absolutely so well said, Nimil and Deni! Certainly an issue whose time has come. We have to remember, too, that bully boys and girls can grow up to become adult abusers who also need some standing up to!

      Good for you in spreading awareness on such an important issue. One that effects all of us ... young and old, and everyone in between.

    8. Lavy is Hotdogs. 49 months ago | reply

      Nimil has my only made special for her big pink polyester Obama tracksuit.

      I was bullied a while in middle school where I was cut on my arms and kegs by boys who swore I would bleed fat instead if blood. The weird part was, I was just chubby a bit but that made no difference it should never happen to anyone needless to say at some point I realized good ole fashion meat on the bones made it possible for me to ram one of em's head into a brick wall one day. That was a big run on sentence.

    9. Lavy is Hotdogs. 49 months ago | reply

      Lollie I have one boy in school now and bullying starts as early as daycare centers. He didn't go off from me until preschool at age 3 but there was already a class bully. We quickly found out why this child behaved the way that he did -- bullies are often abused at home. Whether it be by a parent or sibling there is bullying being dine to them. They grow up thinking or having it ingrained that striking the first blow will ensure they won't be a victim.
      My I told my boy to tell his teacher and when multiple parents complained and nothing was done, I had to make the unfortunate decision tell my boy to hit back. :(

    10. Miss Blackflag 49 months ago | reply

      Lavy is Hotdogs. i am blogging your jumpsuit today! that sounds very awful and i hate that you had to go though such a horrible time... in my school the reaction from teachers and parents was usually "get over it, it'll make you stronger" and shit like that.. it didn't make me strong at all... i came out of it with severe issues about myself and my weight, and it made me very mistrusting and anti-social.

      in the case of your son, you need to take it to a higher authority! if the teachers are letting that shit go on in daycare then they do not deserve to be teachers.

    11. December Grace Snowfield 49 months ago | reply

      Hi, I'm an admin for a group called Second Life's Pink Shirt Day - Anti-Bullying Awareness, and we'd love to have this added to the group!

      Thank you so much for being a part of this <33

    12. SkySnapper 48 months ago | reply

      Thank you for helping to spread the word. This story needs to be told. I did a tribute to Phoebe on my stream.

    13. Miss Blackflag 47 months ago | reply

      as of today this has been viewed 527 times...

    14. terracevillage [deleted] 43 months ago | reply

      you can read what I wrote about bully in my website

    15. vociferous. 42 months ago | reply

      Nimil! Just saw this on GOOD:
      Pretty awesome! :)

    16. Andersons Solicitors Photo Albums 26 months ago | reply

      Thanks for allowing some creative commons here. Great image. We've used it on our blog about workplace bullying which you can see at

    17. cousinfrance1 15 months ago | reply

      Hi, I am using this at the Feminist Film in Milwaukee page: Thanks!

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