365.285 - in honour of "national coming out day"

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    maybe it should have been an international day? What do you think?

    I've been out since I was 19. In some regards I've been very fortunate that most of my family didn't make it very difficult for me to come out. I told Dad and he was cool - I suspect being the younger child may have had something to do with it ;)

    Now I find myself coming out as a gay parent. It's quite funny in some regards - it's almost as if we never stop coming out :-/

    I'm proud of who I am and where my life is at. I'm proud of my husband and I'm proud of our beautiful little girls.

    I think there's also something that we in the west should keep in perspective as well. We have it relatively easy in terms of acceptance. There are still many parts in the world where homosexuality is still illegal. India for example only decriminalised homosexuality in 2009. Singapore still has homosexuality listed as a criminal offence.

    Also just something I was reminded of yesterday as well. Teenage suicides... now as a teenager I tried to kill myself a couple of times a year (on average) and there's a reason why. How much control do teenagers feel they have over their own lives? Not a lot. The only real autonomy they feel they have is to end it all. I could be wrong but that's what I was reminded of yesterday. Anyway just some random ramblings from me.

    Fenstar, <Martian, sxysocks, BillnWV, and 4 other people added this photo to their favorites.

    1. PlnJ 54 months ago | reply

      Not random ramblings at all. I found them to be very powerful and meaningful. Thank you for sharing.

    2. Jules in Sydney 54 months ago | reply

      I've been thinking, growing up in singapore, the gay scene was very underground. Kinda don't ask don't tell. I guess I've been very fortunate to be living in Australia now where it isn't such a big deal. Although visiting Singapore, there are so many gay clubs now! Hope it changes..

    3. Us-2 [deleted] 54 months ago | reply

      No one should die because of who they are. I recently saw "Boy's Don't Cry" and it made me sick to my stomach that there is so much hatred in the world. I am proud to know a talented and loving Flickr friend like you and I love every thing about this photo.

    4. Plaid-Steel [deleted] 54 months ago | reply

      me likie... and i like your "ramblings..." giggle I like your thoughts very much

    5. sadandbeautiful (Sarah) 54 months ago | reply

      I just pray there's a time when ANY day is okay to come out.

      Thanks for being open here. I think it is important because you never know who will come across this post that you will help.

    6. mausdawg [deleted] 54 months ago | reply

      Well put. Coming out is a lifelong process - it never ends.

    7. nettsu 54 months ago | reply

      Thanks Jim :)

      Jules - strange isn't it? I was quite surprised to learn that Singapore still views homosexuality as illegal but yet you have Temple Street. And we met quite a few openly gay people while we were in Singapore a couple of years ago.

      H & N - thank you :)

      Thanks Carl :)

      Sarah - being a parent now I pray for the same thing. I did honestly think the world had changed but it doesn't seem like it has. I'm just hoping that I can be a positive enough role model to someone who stumbles across this. Although in a piece of good news - a high school counsellor somewhere in the US is using my original IT GETS BETTER image which made my day. It did actually make me feel like I was doing something where I could help :)

      Bernie - I think how you come out just changes. I'm still surprised when people think I'm straight *laughs*
      For example at the doctors this morning - I had a woman tell me that she thought I was doing a wonderful thing by helping Mum out and taking the girls into to see the doctor. My response was well Dad can't currently do it because he's travelling for work. *blank stare* Oh how very modern! :-/
      I guess at least Modern Family is making it easier for people to accept that gay families are around and not really that unusual (or freaky).

    8. sly's eye 54 months ago | reply

      Congrats and thank you for sharing, Michael :)

      LMAO at your answer to the woman at the doctor :D

    9. nettsu 54 months ago | reply

      Sly - my pleasure :)

      and my answer to the woman at the doctor is what we have to do. We would used to gloss it over with a polite yes. But we can't do that. If we lie about our family situation in front of the girls they are going to pick up on the fact that we are being dishonest - so we have to be honest, it's actually been a bit of a challenge but it's life :)

    10. sly's eye 54 months ago | reply

      You're 100% right, Michael. I was laughing at the woman reaction..

    11. <Martian 54 months ago | reply

      there is still a long way to go.
      some years ago there was no problem in walking hand in hand with your boyfriend.
      now again, I don't dare to do that in my own city.

    12. nettsu 54 months ago | reply

      that really is a shame :(

    13. Photo--Graphy [deleted] 54 months ago | reply

      So nice...

    14. nettsu 54 months ago | reply

      thanks franck :)

    15. TW Collins 54 months ago | reply

      Happy (belated) Coming Out Day!
      I still remember the day, 4/4/84. Thank you for the reminder and the wonderful photo. :~D

    16. nettsu 54 months ago | reply

      my pleasure TW :)

    17. Panpepato senza pepe 52 months ago | reply

      absolutely amazing, wonderfoul rings :)

    18. nettsu 52 months ago | reply

      Thanks Panpepato :)

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