Random thoughts from the other night: I've been staying up to many nights now exploring my own thoughts. I feel like I've got so many questions and so much to say. Yet, none of it really even matters. My biggest problem these days I think is just trust. I have a really hard time trusting anyone. I've heard more promises that fall through than promises kept, just this year alone. It's like the more I sit back and just watch / listen. The more I slowly see who people are, and oddly, it pushes me further away from wanting to associate with anyone anymore. I think I've become so desensitized to people that as soon as I hear someone say that "they will do _______" I instantly think to myself how it's not going to happen. Now, I'm just left with no expectations for anyone because in the end if you don't have any expectations, how will your feelings get hurt? I guess I'm just searching for some clarity with a huge lack of sleep. TLDR: I've got trust issues
Also, I deleted my Instagram and personal Facebook account. Although in two weeks I'm going to be going on a dream trip of mine, I don't really see the point of posting it to rub into people's face like I'm something special. There are so many reasons as to why I did this, so I'll give a couple. 1. Social media is just a way that people can share a life that they want people to prescience they're living. 2. The ego boost that social media creates is absolutely unreal. You post on social media for the likes and comments because they make you feel validated and relevant. If you riddle your posts with hashtags you're probably part of the reason I'm disconnecting. 3. I'm leaving simply because I don't like seeing the people I don't have the balls to delete. I've got people that I follow that are just people I used to know and really I don't care to see their shit anymore. With that being said I'm going to keep snapchat because it's how I talk to 95% of my foreign friends. I'll also be keeping this Facebook account because I have been progressively getting more and more business. If you want my number or snapchat, DM me. If not, my personal accounts will probably be back sometime beginning next year with a lot of work and a huge project. I think we all need time to decompress, so I'm taking mine.