I got fed up with my long hair and approached the problem with a DIY attitude. By this point it was becoming obvious that my barber's handbook really wasn't a beginner's guide, after all.
Strobist info: Elinchrom D-lite 4 at 1/8th power with a softbox above camera and lightly to left, triggered with optical trigger. One Sunpak Auto Zoom 3000 flash at 1/16th power on both sides behind me as subtle kickers, also triggered with optical triggers. A Nikon SB-24 at 1/16th power bounced from the ceiling, just to trigger the other flashes, triggered by wireless radio trigger.