47 of 52
This weekend I attended my old school's annual fair. Every year less of my school friends turn up. The ones that do turn up are inexorably those with children. Of course, they are now sending their children to the same school! Thus perpetuates the circle of life...
So I play with the kids. Prod them gently on the nose. Offer them a large hand to chew, gnaw or grab, depending on their age. Pull scary faces. That kind of thing.
And then I realise, shit, my friends have children.
I don't even have a girlfriend and these guys have KIDS! They've had kids for YEARS! Every year I go back to school and MORE of my friends have kids!
It doesn't take a genius to realise that eventually all of my friends will have kids. Everyone will have cute little bambinos but me. 26 isn't that old to still be without progeny. Plenty of time left...
As long as there are still any women left by the time I feel ready to settle down...
* No, it's not my baby, despite it looking like my hairy leg.