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Feeding The Black Dog | by @mich.robinson
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Feeding The Black Dog

15/365, 15 January 2013

Project 365: Looking For The Lost Self

 

“A phenomenon that a number of people have noted while in deep depression is the sense of being accompanied by a second self — a wraithlike observer who, not sharing the dementia of his double, is able to watch with dispassionate curiosity as his companion struggles against the oncoming disaster, or decides to embrace it. There is a theatrical quality about all this, and during the next several days, as I went about stolidly preparing for extinction, I couldn't shake off a sense of melodrama — a melodrama in which I, the victim-to-be of self-murder, was both the solitary actor and lone member of the audience.”

― William Styron, Darkness Visible

 

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There are certain triggers that make me go into a prolonged downward spiral and revert into the symptoms of PTSD that I had worked on for the better part of a decade to leave behind. One of them is betrayal. For more information about why I am doing this project, and what it is about: michmutters.com/about-project-365-looking-for-the-lost-self/

 

Some days, there is nothing to do but give up to it. It is part of the process. To fight it is to merely go in a vicious circle of up and down madness.

 

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Many apps were used: Procamera of both images. Superimpose, iColorama, Decim8, Photofx Ultra, Phototoaster, Snapseed, Image Blender and of course Snapseed.

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Uploaded on January 15, 2013