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the love of a good man | by McBeth
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the love of a good man

Lets say you are a man. Say, a youngish man, who discovered that, with your beloved, have created a life that you're both surprised about and thrilled to be bringing into the world. Still with me? Good, keep up. Say you're sitting around freaky-deaking under the burden of realizing that holy shit, you've created a life. The kind of thing you had to nervously wriggle through in 5th grade when you had to watch those how our bodies are changing filmstrips with butterflies and happily pollenating bees. Yep, that's you now.


You're having a kid.


It's sinking in, yah? It's okay. Breathe.



You don't have to be a fabulous father. You don't have to be a cool father. You don't have to be a hipster father. Sometimes you will do really really stupid things after that kid is born and you might consider castigation a fine way to deal with the guilt but y'know what? SO not necessary. It's not, trust me. All it does it divert your attention from the real matter. Because if you start getting all guilty-feeling about the possibility of making dumb mistakes that you, like each of us, are bound to make, I'm pretty sure you're going to have an asspain of an adulthood to mire through. But there is hope! There's hope if you can learn to pick your battles. Choose the hill you're going to die on. Choose the battle cries you're prepared to repeat loudly and often because lemmetellya, I don't care how great a child's hearing is, nearly all of them can turn on that switch to "selective" instantly rendering you a younger and more XY'ed version of Charlie Brown's teacher. Mwahmwah mwaaaaah wahhhhhm. Don't stress about every little thing, just find the important points and winnow those to death.


Really though? I think you could ask any woman her opinion about what is important in a child's development and, regardless of her status as a breeder or non-, I can good gollywelldarn promise that nearly all of us will tell you this one important thing:


Children, like the rest of us, require much less than one might expect if they can simply be offered the love of a good man.


Your kid's future is golden, brother.

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Taken on December 26, 2005