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awareness | by Mary Bogdan
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awareness, 2003, 83" w x 70"h, Combine/mixed media painting on lamp-shade material.


This was one of my very first large paintings that doesn't respect boundaries. The handwriting is my own ... words of love and encouragement to myself... intimate letters of understanding and openness to myself.


Included we see a blue bedsheet, a favorite of mine, used for many years until it began to rip and was not useable on the bed anymore. I tried many times on different occasions of clearing-up, to throw it in the garbage. At every moment of throwing it out... I could not. I kept it for quite a while afterwards and it finally found its final home here. The fabric is sooo soft and luscious that it has always been very important to me. The color is divine.


Also used here is a pair of old summer pants I used to wear when gardening, I wore them until they ripped (and quite a bit afterwards) and were no longer useable. Again, in blue.


I found the crotch area (opened zipper) very important here as the central image. And I named it "awareness", because it was the very last word written on this painting, and it signaled its completion... or beginning.


I find the earthy colors highly powerful against the sky (spiritual) blue. Great contrast and combination. Also included are road maps and my fathers old dress patterns (which I had painted on).


It hangs in my bedroom.

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Taken on July 17, 2005