Fading from black to sunshine
The original Fade to Black occurred about a year ago when a small minded employer upended my career and stole my world.
I made the mental adjustment but my body did not keep up. Now one year later I find myself still wrestling with blackness…this time a physical one.
From Feburary and into the present moment, I have been bathed in chronic, moderate-to-severe pain along my back. This involved the sciatica nerve and neck-shoulder nerves.
I’m just drained by the pain. I feel trapped. I have been overcome with a feeling of having aged rapidly these past several months—and not in a good way. All this "material" was channeled into a flurry of beatnik-poetry. I wrote the verse in dark, abysmal, and drenched with apocalyptic tones….and always a dab or two of humor.
On the bright side this Winter, I began planning my retirement for June 2007. In preparation for this glorious event, and I paln to battle this lame pain using the one tool I prize most: my mind. I’m going to try visualizing a sunnier world…and send that energy into my spine.
I want to force the blackness to recede into the background. I want to break out of this prison of pain before I become my disability…I want to run away with Judy and Franky…and join (re-join) the circus of the living.
This image will be my mandela, mantra, meditation and whatever gets me through…