When I was little I dreamt of drawing and my mother sent me to the Art School. On the very first lesson the pupils supposed to draw a silhouette of a person, sitting right in front of them. I remember being very nervous that day. I have been drawing a person for the first time of my life. I only drew objects before. The room was extremely small, a great many of pupils filled it. A huge pack of books and boxes encumbered the room and made it even look smaller. I felt that it wasn’t right to draw only a silhouette. I thought that it would be great to draw a pressing atmosphere of that room to show a person in the story, just like in Kafka’s novels. At that time I didn’t take a risk and fulfilled the task as it was demanded. A relaxed figure in an absent space appeared on the piece of paper.
Then I wanted to be part of a swimming team. At that time I could already swim, but I wanted to do it faster and more refined. My mum helped me to enter the swimming section.
I have always felt body stiffness and I went to a Dancing School to feel my body better.
The last childhood hobby of mine was English. I remember watching English music videos. When I asked adults what singers sang they only answered: ‘They sing what they show in music video’. ‘There should be a trick’ – I thought to myself. At that time music videos have already been abstract and had nothing to do with the words of the song. I decided to go to Lingua Centre to understand what English performers sing.
I have never put responsibility for my passions on my parents. Nobody has even made me go to sections. My parents didn’t expect me to become a great linguist, a professional sportsman, a painter of New Age or someone else. The only criterion for them was a glitter in my eyes. You may have thought, my dear reader, that I went from one extreme to another. But I was doing it all just to find myself and understand who I really am. Skills that I once reserved I use these days.
There were little prohibitions in childhood. I grew up as a freedom-loving and self-reliant person. I always had a family support and the freedom of choice. A freedom of choice expects a full responsibility for the actions and I was only happy about it. I do not rely on other people’s experiences. I prefer to feel everything, my own way. Childhood helped me to realize a very important thing – you can’t understand what you like unless you try it.
That is why, I am like that little girl from my childhood, believe that my dreams will come true.
P.S. thanks to Su5 and Evolovesart for the plane pictures.