i've been from the top of the world to the bottom.
i can't even being to express in words how much has changed in the past month i've been gone.
i guess what i can say is that people judge people. i know this is a fact, everyone knows it. but i truly never grasped the reality of it until a couple weeks ago. i've literally never been in such a position where - without my permission - all of my privacy has been invaded. all of my darkest secrets, every single thing i am ashamed of or wish never happened, literally happened. and it was everything throughout my entire life. and not only did that happen. but everything i've refused to go near or do: drugs, alcohol, self infliction (because i knew i was better than that), i was hands down accused of. to the utmost extent i literally started bawling my eyes out when i heard of it.
this makes me question humanity. just the morals of people. how quickly life can change and people can just immediately hate you. and it makes me lose faith in all of mankind. it makes me hate what we've all become. how we can become monsters and not grasp how terrible what we're doing/saying truly is. and i hope that if you're like that you learn to respect people and their privacy. and maybe understand that nothing is ever perfect, and you aren't either. so why would you put someone down to such an extent? truly think about how terrible of a person such a thing makes you, and try and put yourself in THEIR shoes.
i guess that's all i really need to rant about.
i'm at college now, i'm in purchase new york - just outside manhattan. i really enjoy it here, but i do miss butters and my father.