Day 119: It's not too late to apologize.
" '[We] were thinking about the way Christians have sort of wronged people over time. You know the Crusades, all that stuff..'
'Well, I doubt you personally were involved in any of that, man.'
'No, I wasn't. But the thing is, wee are followers of Jesus. We believe that He is God and all, and He represented certain ideas that we have sort of not done a good job at representing. He asked us to represent Him well, but it can be very hard.'
'We are confessing to you. I mean, I am confessing to you.'
'Me? You're serious.
What are you confessing?'
'There's a lot. I will keep it short. Jesus said to feed the poor and to heal the sick. I have never done very much about that. Jesus said to love those who persecute me. I tend to lash out, especially if I feel threatened, you know, if my ego gets threatened. Jesus did not mix His spirituality with politics. I grew up doing that. It got in the way of the central message of Christ. I know that was wrong, and I know that a lot of people will not listen to the words of Christ because people like me, who know Him, carry our own agendas into the conversation rather than just relaying the message Christ wanted to get across. There's a lot more you know."
'It's all right, man,' Eyes watering.
'Well, I am sorry for all of that.'
'I forgive you.'
'A lot of people need to here this.'
'Have we hurt a lot of people?'
'You haven't hurt me. I just think it isn't very popular to be a Christian, you know. Especially at a place like this. I don't think too many people have been hurt. Most people just have a strong reaction to what they see on t.v. All these well-dressed preachers supporting the Republicans.'
'That's not the whole picture. That's just television. I have friends who are giving their lives to feed the poor and defend the defenseless. They are doing it for Christ.'
'You really believe in Jesus don't you?'
'Yes, I think I do. Most often I do. I have doubts at times, but mostly I believe in Him. It's like there is something in me that causes me to believe, and I can't explain it.' "
A conversation between two men Don and Jake in Blue Like Jazz. Although this wasn't my conversation, I feel like it could be mine.
So I'm sorry.