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"And it's a heave ho, hi ho, comin' down the plains"... | by KryptonHeidt
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"And it's a heave ho, hi ho, comin' down the plains"...

"Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine

I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line

But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn't there

The bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair"

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no

"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" (Ha ha!)

The government, they promised me a measly little sum

But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum...

 

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone

I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!)

 

{Refrain:}

And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

 

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large

But just the other day I found an unprotected barge

I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser

I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer

Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river

Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach's are a-quiver

'Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hiding in the bay

I'll jump the bridge, and knock 'em cold, and sail off with their hay

 

{Refrain}

 

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat

He'd follow on the shoreline 'cause he didn't own a boat

But the cutbacks were a-comin' and the Mountie lost his job

So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob

A swingin' sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company

I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)

Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea

If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!)

 

{Refrain}

 

Well, the pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here

I hear in north Alberta there's a band of buccaneers

They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay

And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way

Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze

My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze

I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go

I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico

 

{Refrain}

 

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores"...

 

CREDIT FOR LYRICS

 

Arrogant Worms

        

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Taken on July 29, 2009