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day three.

my mother is the most intriguing, breathtaking, awe-inspiring, and most curious person i have ever gotten a chance to know.


yesterday evening, she did something that hurt me a lot, and the worst part was that i knew she knew it was killing me as she did it.


but, as i expected (this is not the first time...oh it is not the first time this has happened), at four o'clock in the morning last night, she clammered into my bed and as she wrapped her arms around me, she cried and cried.


she told me how incredibly sorry she was.

she wept for what she did and she wept for all she has done as a mother of nine children.

she told me she was so painfully sorry she didn't know me. inside and out.


of course, most everything she said is a blur to me now.

i was half asleep as she hugged me so it feels like one of many dreams, but as i woke up four hours later, this one phrase was slamming against my ears:


"Kalie, I don't even know what makes your heart soar."


and i just stopped, and i thought to myself, do i even know what makes my heart soar?


this picture happened 15 minutes later.


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Taken on July 12, 2008