Step 37: learn to drink and swear
I grew up not swearing and not drinking alcohol. It was not a Thou Shalt Not thing; it just wasn’t done. Then I married Christine, and one night in bed she told me a say a dirty word. The one I picked shocked her. I quite enjoyed the whole experience. I’ve managed to not become a potty mouth. Most people who know me have only hear me use four letter words like rust and card. That’s a good thing, being a children’s pastor and all.
The drinking happened this way. I said to Christine, Let’s go to the Nimbus Brewery. We went and had a little tour and the first beer I ever drank was straight out of one of their vats and the yummy goodness was almost overwhelming. The second beer I ever drank was their oatmeal stout and the yummy goodness was almost overwhelming. I left most of it though because I was afraid the shock of the first alcohol in my body would cause me to immediately pilot our automobile off a bridge.