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Rest in peace, Darling warrior angel. Nov 30 2009 to 23rd May 2011 | by jellybaby86
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Rest in peace, Darling warrior angel. Nov 30 2009 to 23rd May 2011

Tynchie died today. At 3:15. After a terrible accident.

A man was fixing my sister's car and I needed to pay him.

I took her up in her blanket to answer the door as she was having one of her lucid moments and crawling around on the couch. took her to stop her falling off the couch while I was away.

 

How painfully ironic the universe it.

 

She fell from my arms. She slipped from the blanket and becasue I was preoccipued with the money I was not in time to catch her and she hit the floor, I think I broke her back.

 

She moved like nothing happened and I thought she was okay. She seemed okay. I paid the man an took her upstairs to inspect her, she was not bleeding and seemed to be in no pain but all of a sudden her legs stoped working and she fell over.

 

She went limp finally didin't move . She never moved again. I held her on my chest as I rang my friend, hoping she could take us to the vets earlier but she died before I even got off the phone. So even though I held her, I was still too preoccupied to notice.

 

Once I did I screamed. I screamed and I couldn't stop. In floods of tears I called gruff and he knew. I am so devestated. I have calmed now but I feel in a daze. I still cannot beliebe it happened.

MY little warrior!

my brave brave baby!

I failed her in the end.

I could not catch her, I could not save her.

 

It would not be so bad if I didn't feel so responsible. But I cant stop replaying what happened. I didn't even know I dropped her til she hit the floor. There is not a word for how agonized and guilty I feel. I feel like I need to be punished, to attone. And I don't know how.

 

I was going to cremate her. I ha to ring to tell the vets I could not come and they offered to do it for me. She deserves a warriors sending.

 

I even found a place where they can spin her ashes into glass . A little red heart. www.bathaquaglass.com/memorial-glass/MG01.html

So I can have her with me all the time.

 

My poor brave baby.

She was a fighter til the end.

I am so so sorry I was not good enough to save you. xx

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Taken on May 23, 2011