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Image from page 36 of "Deportmental ditties : and other verses" (1900) | by Internet Archive Book Images
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Image from page 36 of "Deportmental ditties : and other verses" (1900)

Identifier: deportmentaldit00grah

Title: Deportmental ditties : and other verses

Year: 1900 (1900s)

Authors: Graham, Harry, 1874-1936

Subjects:

Publisher: London : Mills & Boon

Contributing Library: Robarts - University of Toronto

Digitizing Sponsor: University of Toronto

  

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Of the businesses of eating and of drinking— Which are separate, distinctive, well-defined—There is no one but must acquiesce in thinkingThat these functions should by no means becombined;Since the man who fills his mouth with beef orpheasant,And proceeds to sluice it down with bitter beer,Is a person whom at meals it isnt pleasantFor his fellows to sit near.33 c Deportmental Ditties Save for purposes of casual conversation, You should always keep your mouth shut when you chew,For the processes of oral mastication Are not suitable for popular review;And it shows a lack of manners or of breeding To make noises like an infant with the croup,Or adopt a loud and blatant mode of feeding,When ingurgitating soup. Then, again, we do not need to be instructedThat our victuals must not ever be inhaled, And that no one who is properly conductedWill be guilty of the scandal thus entailed, When a burst of unpremeditated laughter Sends the glass of rare old port that you imbibe Coursing lungwar

  

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Taken circa 1900