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him | by illona
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i've been down this road before.

i know it's best to keep busy,

direct your energies where it's needed,

refocus on the new around you,

celebrate in the possibilities of the future

instead of dwelling on the past.

i've been doing that.

and then some.


i know so well how the grief comes in waves,

how it crashes onto your shores when you least expect it,

when you're not at all prepared for it,

and you gird up your defenses and deal.


for strength you look into the eyes of the ones left,

the ones who have come after,

the ones eating from the bowls of those before them.

there is solace there.

there is reason.


but other days ...

... the waves are tidal.

they're fucking tsunamis.

and nothing can brace you.

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Taken on March 5, 2010