June 30, 2010 - Day One Hundred Fifty Four.
Yeah, sorry I skipped a day. I got pretty sick and my insides were at war and I needed rest, badly.
I feel a lot better so that's good, and Chris came over today and was nice and disinfected my room and helped me get better, and he's just always cute. And he took care of me when I got sick at his house and gave me his sweater which I slept in and it smelled so good. And he's just urhweuirwi and puts up with my crazy girlfriend moods which I need to still work on controlling more. But!! He still makes me bagels and comes to my house when I'm all sickly. And I'm rambling and not making sense, but that's fine too.
And everything is good now, except my insides are once again fighting and telling me to give in to my worst habits. I'm trying not to have any of it because I know that, hell, I will regret it.
But can I just say this again...
who is that?
Is that really how I look? Hm. Strange...
Not sure how to feel about that. And I really wish one day that I do accept it. And realize it, more so realize it. Or that one day I look the way I see myself looking, expect to. Eeehh. Grow into my skin? Yeah I guess that's it. I don't know, self portraits and mirrors and maybe especially self portraits are strange.
And I don't even knoow how I think how I should look. Like ugly? Or pretty? I have no clue and it's all quite confusing.
Oh and I miss your snoring. It's one of the cutest most comforting noises ever. Oh, to be able to fall asleep in your arms every night. Oh gosh, I could cry. WILL cry hahaha. Okay... sorry, everyone is asleep and I need some one to talk to. So rant rant rant on flickr! Waaahoo! Ugh, strange, I miss you. Or... I miss sleeping with you. NO! I know what it is... I miss spending alone time with you, so much I could cry but I'm trying really hard not to. But gosh, I just wish we had a day to ourselves. And ugh, now I want to see you so bad and I really have to go to sleep now cause this could end up being really bad and I need to stop typing!
**alternate 365 which Chris took when he came over in the morning, which I REALLY like, might upload 'em later later, but he took them so I don't wanna be like taking credit haha but one day I might steal the idea hehehe arielcpineda.tumblr.com/post/756730646