Deep In The Jungle Of New Orleans Square
It was supposed to be just a three hour tour but a surprise storm blew us off track. Our tiny raft floated down river for weeks, the water cold, murky and full of duck poo. The only thing to drink was my cola in a large fancy sippy cup that some toots named Mary Ann kept eyeballing. With no modern facilities aboard the tiny raft and nothing to drink but cola, I crossed my legs and nonchalantly did the pee pee dance.
A lonely ray of sunshine splashed upon my face, my eyes following it to the sun. Ten minutes later when I got my vision back, I saw it! A tiny little settlement the natives call New Orleans Square. As the tiny raft ran a ground at the shore I began to hop up and down, legs crossed, saying ohmygawd ohmygawd ohmygawd I have to go, to the large group of people that were between me and the modern facilities I desperately needed. They ignored me and my pleas. I needed to find a way to get past them and quickly.
I threw a quarter down in front of some rich man and when he bent over to pick it up, I kicked him into the river. His wife jumped in after him crying, My money, MY MONEY! Next I lifted my shirt and flashed some Pin Up named Ginger, the scrawny first mate looked instead and I dashed between them batting my eyes prettily. I finally made it to the front, just the large skipper with no name stood between me and relief. I grabbed a hair pin from my pocket that I apparently carry around with me for no reason what so ever and jabbed him in the rear. He flew skyward, I ran forward, he crashed back!
With legs crossed, whinning ohmygawd ohmygawd ohmygawd, I waddled across New Orleans Square to the first modern facilities I could find.
View on black or I will have some dude who thinks he is a professor make a catapult and send you to the moon!
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