What am I waiting for?
The rain? The drought? Graduation maybe? Marriage? Having a lot of money? Retirement?
What are you waiting for?
Some say kids are dying too young. Meanwhile some kids are only waiting to die. And our minds travel like trains as they gradually come to a stop or a destination in life. Possibly, it’s a long time goal you have been striving for. Pride fills your lungs, puffing your chest out. Your smile reaches from ear to ear. You did it. You made it.
Then the lights begin to flicker and the engine starts with a low growl as it heats your heart to a boil. Before you know it, disappointment is spilling out of your heart, into your bloodstream, and all through your body. Dissatisfaction is a heavy burden to carry as you realize you cannot sit in your achievement much longer, life is going on and it is bringing you with it. So what’s next? What are you waiting for now?
At the end of your life, whether it’s tomorrow or in eighty years, what can you say you lived for?
“I was a happy man. I had a good job. I had a nice house. My family did well.” Says the ninety year old man on his death bed but after some time he comes to realize the truth. “I guess, in the end though, I lived for myself and whatever pleasure followed suit.”
The man’s honesty is admirable but it is the 16 year old girl, sitting in a damaged car as she breathes her last, that you see the truth about death. “I’m too young to die. I had so much to make right. I had so many things I wanted to change. I would have said sorry. I would have held my sister longer. I would have shown others how much they mean to me.”
To be honest, I know I am not selfless. I know I am not righteous. I know some days I am afraid of death. But I also know that I chose to live my life for Christ. When beauty fades, money runs out, clothing falls apart and my family passes away…He is what will remain. Only His love can outweigh anything the World can possibly throw at me. Therefore, I am not living to make money. I am living to sacrifice it all so that I may be a hope to the hopeless, a shoulder to cry on for the abandoned, and a reason to smile for the broken. To live is Christ, to live is to follow Christ. I have nothing left to live for because nothing will remain. All I can do is pray that at the end of my life I will stand at those gates and see the faces of those who knew me. I pray they will smile and tell me “thank you for taking the time when nobody else wanted to. I have traded the rags of my brokenness, my poverty and my hopelessness for the treasure of Christ.” That is the moment I will understand the verse “to live is Christ, but to die is gain.”
So…what are you living for?
- R.I.P Lisa. I hope you knew how beautiful you were. Inside and out. You had a personality that brought joy to every person you came in contact with. You were the definition of high school – smart, gorgeous, kind, and athletic. I have looked up to you for so long and I wish I would have been able to tell you. I wish I would have been able to have one more English class with you to tell you how much you mean to those around you and how precious you are in God’s eyes.