• antacid pills? Perhaps Aunt Gertrude's cooking is lacking...

Let's make up the story...

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There were many events that led up to this moment...the first of which was when Aunt Gertrude stubbed her toe on the bedside table as she swung her substantial legs out of the bed that morning...

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  1. Zibelline 58 months ago | reply

    Sister Jean - who had to give up the habit (it will be come obvious why as this story unfolds) - told Little Susie, "You will eat this bowl of gravy right now or I will poke you in the eye again and Lou cannot help you." Lou, mesmerized by the cucumber-esq candle, thought. . .

  2. HA! Designs - Artbyheather 58 months ago | reply

    "wow, that candle is green!" and recalled his first lighting of the relish dish candle way back in the day when wax was scarce and they had to use grandpa's earwax to supplement the supply. He gagged slightly which brought him back to his senses just as...

  3. clotho98 58 months ago | reply

    He gagged slightly which brought him back to his senses just as...
    a tear ran down his cheek, and he clenched his fist and silently wondered "Why, WHY have *I* never been asked to blow out the relish candle?! Just ONCE I'd like it to be my turn, dag nab it!!"

  4. Zibelline 58 months ago | reply

    He then thought - as he eyed Gertrude's bottle of Milk of Magnesia, not for the first time - "she probably wouldn't need that MofM if she wouldn't eat the entire bowl of mashed potatoes at every Relish Dish Celebration we have. " Gertrude, reading Lou's mind said. . .

  5. HA! Designs - Artbyheather 58 months ago | reply

    "I know what you're thinking and if you want your dose of Viagra tonight you'll go right back to staring blankly into space Mister". Which he promptly did. Sister Jean, startled by the subject matter, let go of Sally and...

  6. Renee Stien 58 months ago | reply

    Sally went crashing into the table, dislodging the pickled candle relish dish candle in the process. This brought Lou back out of his self induced pity party just in time to save the day. Trying unsucessfully to re-steady the candle he came up with the ingenious idea to use his own ear wax (supplemented by the supply he'd been sticking under the table leaf) and saved the day. Well, maybe not the whole day but at least he saved the candle...

  7. Zibelline 58 months ago | reply

    Meanwhile perfect little Sally, who had been pestering her mother this entire time, grabbed the candelabra and. .

  8. HA! Designs - Artbyheather 58 months ago | reply

    placed it on her head like a crown...and asked "Do I look like a princess?" to which her sister replied...

  9. clotho98 58 months ago | reply

    "NYA NYA NYA!! YOU LOOK LIKE AN UGLY DOO DOO HEAD!" stamping her feet, while sticking her tongue out and showing a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "YOU'RE SO UGLY YOU MADE MY EYES EXPLODE!" Well Gertrude had had quite enough. She was not going to tolerate that evil twin saying such awful things to her favorite, sweet little Sally. "Jean!" she said, "Do something with this child! She's giving me the heeby jeebies!" As Jean dug out a handful of the tranquilizers which she had cleverly disguised as a bottle of Milk of Magnesia, she explained the modern method of child rearing she was following. "The girls are being raised strictly by the book" she said, "It's Dr. Spock all the way!" Well Gertrude may not be up on all the latest fancy child psychology, but she and Lou WERE avid Trekkies, and hadn't missed a convention in years. If Jean wanted to raise the children following Spock's method, then she was open minded enough to give it a try. Gertrude reached over to the evil twin, and firmly applied the Vulcan Death Grip to her neck, instantly dropping her to the floor as her sister screamed from the other side "No, Aunt Gertrude! She said DR. Spock, not MR. Spock!!"

    Lou calmly leaned across the table and with a smile, blew out the relish dish candle, before going to the kitchen to call the police (and an ambulance for Jean who had miscalculated the potency of those tranquilizers).

  10. HA! Designs - Artbyheather 58 months ago | reply

    Sister Jean was stunned...she knew the heimlich maneuver but was unsure if this would be the proper time to wield her skills...

  11. clotho98 58 months ago | reply

    after all, with Gertrude and Susie out of the way, she and Lou were finally free to run off together...

  12. Zibelline 58 months ago | reply

    What's this - the sequel? I thought the story was over when clotho revealed the Dr Spock angle!

  13. jake_sylvester 56 months ago | reply

    but, alas, Jean's long-cherished, er, dream, was not to be, for at that moment the front doorbell rang. But before Gertrude, or Jean, or Lou could get the door, it opened, and in rushed a medic, two cops, and several firemen responding to Lou's emergency call. Seeing Gertrude with her hands apparently around Susie's throat apparently, one of the cops yelled...

  14. Noble Studios Ltd 56 months ago | reply

    You only need one caption by "Uncle whoever's" head.....

    "PLEASE steal my identity....."

  15. HA! Designs - Artbyheather 56 months ago | reply

    ah hahaha...he DOES look a bit like he'd like to be ANYWHERE but there...or ANYONE but himself...

  16. mysparetimedesign 56 months ago | reply

    omy gosh this is priceless...thanks for the laugh i'm in bed with Vertigo and this made my night...lol

  17. vlup2us65 56 months ago | reply

    Who's "Vertigo"? Is he any good in bed?

  18. roxiegirl2012 40 months ago | reply

    Christmas Eve, I'm all alone and this has been a real treat1

  19. HA! Designs - Artbyheather 40 months ago | reply

    Merry Christmas roxiegirl!

  20. Zibelline 40 months ago | reply

    This IS a fabulous picture!

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