the state of that
You know how I could do those shots where it looked like I was in some sort of shape? Can't do those anymore. But I must admit. It was all a lie. This body hasn't been in shape since sometime in the early 90s. The very early 90s. There is no doubt that it is in the process of melting. There may be nothing to be done about it too.
Exercise I hear you say? Erm....no. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's more that I really really don't want to do it. Physical exertion of this thing only ends in overheating and monster headaches. It's like owning a classic car. It's just for show and then bits fall off. Oh god, I hope my bits haven't fallen off.
Did you know Cream Cheese doesn't taste like cheese? I didn't. I knew it was essential for making cheesecake but any other uses were repulsive and wrong. Then I tried them and on its natural habitat of a bagel, it's actually quite tasty. So I may have to retire to a life of stretchy waistbands and seeing nothing but belly when I look down.
Or maybe I'll just have an apple instead.