it's like a stubbly egg
It is like a giant stubble egg. Or a very big testicle. No, maybe not that. If one of mine felt like this then it would be straight to the doctors. Kind of wish I hadn't said that now. Just imagining if one of mine was that size is giving me very peculiar thoughts about whether or not my underwear would still fit. I don't think it would.
I'm not sure if that's really the way anyone should start a conversation. Not unless the conversation started with "Is that a giant testicle in your pocket or are you just plea....oh is it....um...bye". As all conversations about such things should go. Unless it's with a doctor. The last thing you want is them taking one look and bolting. No, that may be the second worse thing. The worst would be them coming back with some large, sharp and pointy.
This really is turning into a load of old bollocks, isn't it? Well, just the one bollock but still we should probably change the subject. Anyone been getting out? No, I don't suppose you have. Had any holi...no, you wont have those either. Have you donte something to you hair? Ah, neglect and hats. Yes, that's what I do too.
I think we'll leave it there for now.