My Secret Life
In my secret life, I live in black and white and the dimensions of my world are the same as those of a film-strip. I never wear anything but black and I'm sleek as a raven, even around the house--except that in my secret life I'm never home. I spend all my time fighting crime and bad spelling, and the only time I stop is to down my vodka neat out of highball glasses and glare at lascivious gentlemen.
In my secret life I've always got one foot out the door and a sinister shadow.