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The Leader of the . . . Bloat (Song following) | by garlandcannon
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The Leader of the . . . Bloat (Song following)

"Hippopotamuses are gregarious, living in groups of ... 30+; such a group is called a pod, herd, dale or BLOAT. . . wikipedia

 

Sad, Sad Hippo Bloat Song:

THE LEADER OF THE BLOAT(loosely based on the c. 1964 oldie by the Shangri-La’s, “The Leader of the Pack,” www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/the_shangri-las/the_leader_of_...

Listen at www.youtube.com/watch?v=syckLQQBShc

 

[The Shangri-La's were proto-female punk.]

 

Female hippo A: Is she really wallowing in the mud with him?

Female hippo B: Well, there she is. Let's ask her.

 

Female hippo B: Merrie, is that Toro's ring you're wearing?

 

Merrie: Mm-hmm

 

Female hippo A: Gee, it must be great wallowing with him.

 

Female hippo B: Is he coming for you after sunset today?

 

Merrie: Uh-uh.

 

Female hippo A: By the way, where'd you meet him?

 

Merrie: I met him at the grassy shore.

He turned around, looked at me-- and more.

You get the picture?

 

A & B: Yes, we see.

 

Merrie: That's when I fell for the leader of the bloat.

My pals were always putting him down, down, sh-i-v-er.

They said he came from the wrong side of the river.

 

A & B: Whatcha mean when ya say that he came from the wrong side of river?

 

Merrie: They told me he was bad,

But I knew he was sad.

That's why I fell for the leader of the bloat.

 

One day Bossy said, "Ya gotta find someone new."

I had to tell my Toro, “We're through.”

 

A & B: Whatcha mean when ya say that ya better go find somebody new?

 

Merrie: He stood there and asked me why,

But all I could do was cry:

I'm sorry I hurt you, the leader of the bloat.

 

He sort of pushed me and nosed me goodbye.

The tears were beginning to show

As he waddled away on that rainy night.

I begged him to be careful-- Of the giant reptile to beware.

It’s the croc! Look out! Look out!

 

I felt so helpless. What could I do--

Remembering all the things we'd been through.

Grazing on the grass, they all stop and stare.

I can't hide the tears, but I don't care.

I'll never forget him: the leader of the bloat.

 

Toro’s gone past the crocodile’s jaw,

Into that giant’s cruel maw.

The leader of the bloat - now he's gone

The leader of the bloat - now he's gone.

 

---parodist: moi

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Taken on April 27, 2010