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Happy Halloween! | by Brian Hathcock
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Happy Halloween!

This is Olive, the spider who's lived with us for the past two months. Every night she makes a new web outside our door. We both normally dislike spiders (at least so close to us), but we've grown fond of Olive and her spidery ways.

 

Larger view recommended in order to see the details.

 

Happy Halloween!

 

 

 

Also! I have a spooky story to tell thee, children, so gather 'round.

 

Actually, it's a dream I had last night (really), in all it's glory...and gory detail.

 

I was with Lindsey and a bunch of other ladies in London, England. We were there to recruit students for my university. A strange, old building had been rented for the day. It was yellow with many small, round windows and creaky boards within the floor. The day went horribly, with no visits from students. At about 5 P.M., before we began to give up, I went out. I marched to the schools, made big, loud speeches, and returned triumphant with multitudes of students in tow. Everyone was so happy. I was the hero.

 

If that weren't enough: afterward, we cleaned up, women still singing my praises. When I was the only one remaining, my cousin Nathan came a-calling. We spoke about trivial matters, girls, and the like, as boys tend to do, while I continued to clean. Suddenly there was a bear! He had been roaming the corridors, and we had to escape. I dropped cups and silverware, and the two of us ran in the opposite direction. After two hallways and a flight of stairs were behind, we naturally assumed our safety. Oh, how wrong! The bear reappeared! I had had enough, and exploded through a wall. Safety, at last.

 

However, we were then in a large wooded area with my entire family. It was a desolate place, with only a few abandoned barns separating the trees and old shrubs. With not-so-great surprise I heard shouts. "Look, there!" "Oh, my God!" Alien spacecraft darted over the horizon, above the trees. Everyone was terrified, but, yet again, I was there to save the day. I led the lot of us to one of the barns, where we barricaded ourselves in. After a good while, I decided I should go out to investigate. My brother Carlyn volunteered to accompany me. Our journey to the ranger station was a safe one, until we opened the door. Bam! the bear was inside. He grabbed Carlyn, and in true dreamlike fashion I jumped on the mass of bear and man now rolling before me. I was able to sway the bear, we quickly returned to the barn, and then back to civilization with the entire family.

 

After a Star-Warsesque medal ceremony, Lindsey and I went to Cracker Barrel to celebrate.

 

OK, I made that last part up—I thought it was a nice addendum.

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Uploaded on October 31, 2006