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127/365 i saw you in my dreams again | by Caitlyn Penke
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127/365 i saw you in my dreams again

So right now I feel completely lost with my photography, I know I love doing manipulations, but a part of me also wants to dabble with taking just regular self portraits as well. One of my favorite photographers who takes amazing emotive self portraits is Whitney Justesen.

 

confession one: I keep having all these weird awkward dreams of you. They make me scared because there you are, your sweet, old self, but then you snap and become the person you're being right now. It's frightening. I miss you so much.

 

confession two: I hate thinking about you, but it tends to be what I do a lot. It makes me so sad to think of everything we had and how other people just destroyed it. I hate it. All I do is miss you and all I want is you, but you've been become such a dark, cynical person and it scares me because it's not you at all. I miss you so much. Something I really want is for you to see your kid, it is yours. It's a part of you and once they'll be born they'll be missing a huge part of their life: you. I know too that you'd be a fantastic parent, I've seen you with kids, your amazing with them.

 

Don't take this as a provocative picture, it isn't at all. It's a new stemming of my photography in trying to take basic emotive photographs. Plus I edited this differently than most of my works because I want to learn new skills in Photoshop. No desaturated, sad colors today. :]

One thing I really want to learn is how to get the pastel, faded colors, but I seriously don't know how. This summer I'm going to take advantage of the sun and light and try something new. :]

Anyways, a picture of me laying in bed probably could've been better, but I've had an off few days with photography, so I feel my effort isn't one hundred percent, which I guess lacks the quality of the photograph.

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Taken on March 6, 2011