As I'm sure everyone can tell, I haven't been having the greatest couple of weeks, I've been really down in the dirt, and just not enjoying much of anything.
But guess who's feeling a lot better? I am.
This photo is one of the most personal I have ever done and everything in it is there for a reason.
Basically, this photo is about how time can heal everything. My friends have been telling me this for the past couple weeks, and I never believed them, but now I do, and I realize how true it really is.
The leaves have been scanned in (there are 10 differential leaves in total, some have been sized differently, hue changed, etc.) and the reason why I chose to do a self-portrait of myself surrounded by leaves is because leaves are constantly changing over time, just like we are. The one thing that we have different from leaves however, is that leaves can not choose what direction they want to go, the wind will choose that for them. We, on the other hand can choose what direction we want to go in. We can choose to bring ourselves up, or bring ourselves down to the dirt. The leaves pointing downwards, going towards the dirt represent how I felt last week. Constantly bringing myself down until I made myself feel worthless and pathetic. The leaves going upwards is how I feel now.
There is a can in my hair, and as much as I would love to say that it's there because I wanted to look like Lady Gaga, that is definitely not the reason. Basically over the past week or so I have been treated not right, I was left alone, and I basically was crying every day for hours a day. I had a mental breakdown and fell to doing something stupid, meaningless, and I fell to a weakness. I'm very open with my life, so here it is guys, I overdosed on pills a little. I'm okay now, I'm more than okay now, and I realize that how I was treating myself was stupid and now I'm bringing myself up from it. I'm better than that, I will never fall to doing something so friggin' dumb ever again. But you know what? It's part of me now, it's part of my past, and I don't want to hide it. I will own it, and I will kick it in the face.
I know I'm stronger than what I treated myself like last week, and I have no one other to thank for it but all of my amazing friends for making me realize this. My friends (in real life, and on twitter♥) are the most amazing people I could ever ask to have in my life, and I'm so thankful and grateful.
I'm stronger because of all the supportive people in my life who made me realize I'm better than how I was treating myself.
ALSO, my hair isn't that red in real life (I wish), the flash on my camera did that.
Anyhow, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE.
I'm back bitches.
Ps, my Facebook Fan Page has reached over 1000 fans, so I will be doing a print giveaway starting this Friday, so keep an eye out for that, thanks everyone for your constant support.