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Day 190/365 ~ Can you Relate? Can You Keep Up the Pace like You're Dying for This? | by Amanda Mabel
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Day 190/365 ~ Can you Relate? Can You Keep Up the Pace like You're Dying for This?

June 25, 2011.

This is my sister

I'm only getting started. I won't blackout

Thank you so much Meggie for the testimonial :)


I've been thinking for a long while over the topic of meeting new people, and watching the previous ones leave as new ones enter.

Maybe everyone is meant to meet one monster in their lives, the ghost of their past that whispers in the haunting darkness, the one shadow that will never let them go. It awakens in the night, waiting for the hours to tick by so it can press its suffocating weight onto your shoulders. Insomnia keeps your eyes wide open, allowing you to feel the pressure from the shadow.

There's no escaping, because nightmares only materialise in pure silence, when your thoughts are fleeing in hurried bursts from your mind. When the only sound is the jagged edge of your breath catching in the ragged air. When your hands are clenched in tight little grips on the sheets, and you feel an inconsolable sense of grief.

All that you have lost, and the pain you have gone through, slowly collected in that one shadow, all weighing down on you. All the memories. All the recollections. They're all waiting in the dark to come back and haunt you.

Remembering a memory is akin to taking a blurred photograph and putting it in your pocket. You will always remember what happened in that instant, but not too clearly; yet clearly enough to know the general details. And try as you might, you will never be able to change the memory. Because it has already been printed, and it has become a fact of life.




if you want to ask anything

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Taken on June 24, 2011