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Day 157/365 ~ All You Need is Love

May 18, 2011.

I'll take a better photo tomorrow.

In a few hours I turn seventeen.

I find it quite devastating to be honest. Shreds of my childhood, the time I have now, are slipping through my fingers like sand falling through an hourglass.

It seems like everyone around me is more excited about my birthday than I am myself. I used to be those kids who would be extremely jubilant about their birthday coming, but the older I get, the more reluctant I am; the more I realise how fast time is flying by; how I will no longer remain the same.

No more of the silly, careless things I could do as a kid; no more hyper laughing fits; no more immature behaviour because the more I grow up, the more people expect out of me. Age is supposed to be just a number, but everyone knows that age holds you back. It's not supposed to, but it does.

I'm one of those people who feel immensely awkward about their birthday. One of those people who hiss desperately, 'Don't remind anyone'. One of those whose faces turn scarlet when everyone begins the 'Let's sing Happy Birthday' and begins a plea to make everyone stop. One of those who consider it not a very happy day, but a day marking another year gone by. The time no longer able to be recovered.

Here's to the rest of the years left wearing ripped jeans, looking young enough to pretend to be a kid and eat from the kid's menu, the time plugged into headphones and tuning out the rest of the world, running in mismatched shoes, doodling on my hands with black ink, raucous laughter in public, saying 'I'm not old enough' as an excuse, and finding the rest of myself while I still have time.

 

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Taken on May 7, 2011