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Prehistoric Bird Catches Carp

My first ever attempt of computer art, using the computer paint brush. Originally a tree, and I painted it into a prehistoric bird. And photoshopped on a carp. I caught from Yateley North lake.

 

When I was a child I used to hear the oldies telling stories at party's, and I think I sometimes got confused. The teacher once asked what is the difference between an African elephant, and an Indian elephant. Which I instantly put my hand up aged about nine, and replied with, "The African elephant, as a bigger penis than the Indian elephant, it sometimes drags on the floor, that's how you know when the big males are coming, because of the dust clouds they make."

 

In religious education there was an ornament of Jesus on the side. One winter I dressed him in my Action Man white army ski patrol outfit, white hat, combat knife, and escape back pack, because he looked cold. The teacher gave me instant detention, a 1,000 lines for that. I think it's because the ski's didn't fit him. Though if he had that knife when the Romans turned up to arrest him, the Bible could of been a totally different story.

 

Though I have always said. Jesus would have a sense of humour. My art teacher Mr Cameron told me when he was up on the cross. The man had been tortured in the worse way possible that you can imagine, but Jesus still managed to keep his sense of humour. He called out to one of his disciples and said, "You know what John, I can see your house from up here". Now I don't know if that is a true story or not, but it was Mr Cameron who taught me in life what a lady boy was. Saving me embarrassment in my future years, preventing me waking up with an erection that didn't belong to me. Them Lady boys can be better looking than some women, causing total confusion on the drunken eye. We learnt more about biology off of Mr Cameron, than off of any of our biology teachers.

 

Though Mr Cameron did get arrested by the Police in the end for painting female six formers naked, late after school hours. He was paying them good money apparently. Before you misunderstand. I would like to add he never went on to become a future British Prime Minister. The only similarity the two of them have. They were once both hippies, both went to a posh college, and both smoked pot around about the same time.

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Taken sometime in 2004