This City - the update
Four years ago I fell in love in this city,
with a boy who was perfect for me in so many, many ways.
But – as is the nature of our world – he was also imperfect for me in equal measures.
He left me and I was both devastated and relieved (although not in equal measures).
I am back in this city for a few days for work. And as much as I am trying to be professional and focused and grown up and moved-on I am walking down streets that are full of the memories of a time (the last time) when I was swept up in the excitement of falling in love with someone who was falling in love with me.
We (me and he) are catching up for drinks on Saturday night.
It will be the first time I have seen him since we split.
It has been three years.
I haven’t been in a relationship since.
He has – but isn’t in one right now.
And while I have been giving myself a stern talking to about “not going backwards – not even for a night” and “look after your heart” and “going from a significant other to a one-night stand will not be doing your self esteem any favours” I have also noticed that I have shaved my legs, waxed my bikini line, dyed my hair and tinted my eyelashes.
I have been plumbing the depths of my soul to find the one thing that will give me resolve. The one piece of advice, a quote, a saying, the anecdote that will be my mantra when I am a few drinks into our ‘catch up’ and I start to throw caution to the wind. I have even considered filling my purse with reminders or writing stuff on my leg (like the guy from that movie Momento) in order to keep myself on track.
I haven’t found quite the right one, so it’s over to you my Flickr friends.
What’s a girl to do?