not 20 meters away from the setting of the following story:
[excerpted from ericmolina.blogspot.com]
I was looking at these little wooden sculptures when this guy comes up to me and says "Ice Cream? Ice Cream? Coconut, very good. Cold." I didn't really want an ice cream at the moment, so I shrugged him no and kept looking. Instead of leaving me alone, he decided to help out the local vendors. He asked if I wanted jewelry. I didn't, but I was looking, actually, to find something for my mom. He held up tihs hideous, hideous silver ring with a garish pink gem on it. The gem was the size of my freaking eyeball, and, well, pink. It was nasty. Nonetheless, he tells me to give him my hand. I do, just for shits and giggles, and with a moderate struggle, he got it on my finger.
"It doesn't fit."
"You buy?"
"My finger is turning pink."
"You buy?"
"No."
after which a three to five minute ordeal of taking the ring off my finger ensued. i appreciate the hustle, man, but what the hell am I going to do with a ring like that. do i look like fucking Liberace to you?
anyway, I bought a few things and headed back towards him. again, "Ice Cream?"
at this point, i figure what the hell. this guy is a pain in the ass, but he's grown on me. so i give him the 5000 kip (exchange rate in Laos: 10,600 Lao kip per One USD) and proceed to eat the block of coconut ice cream on a stick. Because he's grown on me, I'm okay with conversation.
"You want Beer Lao?"
"No."
"You want Coke?"
"No."
"You want Tuk-Tuk?"
"No."
"You want lady Lao?"
"What?" oops.
"Lady Lao. Very nice. Bam Bam. Lady Lao."
"Wow."
"Lady Lao. Very nice."
"I'll bet."
"You want?" Keep in mind, according to a posting outside the US Embassy (pictured below), it is illegal for a foreigner to have sex with a Lao National if the two are not married.
"You want?"
"No, I gotta go."
at which point he flagged down a tuk-tuk for me and I took off.
such is life in Laos, or any country afflicted with abject poverty. even the ice cream man is a pimp.